shank wank

The act of masturbating with one hand while making a 'shanking' motion with the other, knife-filled, hand.

I'm gonna have me a shank wank!

by efildrot September 24, 2013

Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.

Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.

by slapyourstick October 14, 2011

teary wank

As the name implies, having a little cry while self-pleasuring.

He was sad and alone so he had a teary wank.

by sadselfpleasure June 14, 2011

The King's Wank

A jack off session so great, so utterly phenomenal that it could save the world from all it's problems.
The King's Wank is said to happen on July 22nd 2028 at 11:36PM East coast time. in which a man will fulfill the legendary prophecy.

It is said that the producer of The King's Wank once fulfilled, will ascend to a higher plane of existence.

The King's Wank will come soon.

by Snozingly7 January 28, 2023

Slippy Wank

A super special wank where the lady oils her hands up and slowly wanks off her lucky fella to a huge jizz explosion

Kate thought she would spoil Danny by oiling up for a nice slow saturday night slippy wank. Jizz got EVERYWHERE.

by Misskittybubble December 2, 2018

wank over

To obsess over someone/something to the extreme.

All that Audi drivers do is wank over horsepower.

by NE7_SHAGGER September 29, 2018

Wank Cabbage

Wank Cabbage is a term that you call someone when is being stupid and not doing the right thing. We all know someone can do something wrong whether it be a friend or person.. Just any type of human really or animal or thing.. Just anything to be honest

Kat: Has Boris made the announcement tonight?
Kat's Mom: Yeah that wank cabbage put us into lockdown again
Kat: Interesting

by NocturnalDonkey69 January 5, 2021