shitweasel's definitions
When you and your girlfriend end up banging in the car so fucking hard that the condom breaks, getting her pregnant.
by shitweasel March 31, 2020
Get the Dirty Charlie mug.The only words that’s a noun, an expression, adjective and verb all at the same time. The word can also be put anywhere in between a word with two or more syllables.
by shitweasel February 15, 2020
Get the Fuck mug.When you feel a huge ass fart coming and let it out because you think it’s going to feel good, but then feel something sticky come out of your asshole along with it.
by shitweasel June 11, 2020
Get the Sharting mug.1. A task that is unbelievably retarded
2. A contraction of ‘fuck(ing)’ and ‘retard’
3. An adjective used to describe a person who lacks common sense
4. A word used to describe someone who does an unbelievably retarded thing that any human being with common sense would never attempt to do, like drinking 5 gallons of bleach in one sitting.
Alternative: Fucktarded
1. An action that is really fucking retarded
2. A word used to describe someone who tries to imitate fucktarded things they see on the internet, especially on YouTube, which is full of fucktarded videos
2. A contraction of ‘fuck(ing)’ and ‘retard’
3. An adjective used to describe a person who lacks common sense
4. A word used to describe someone who does an unbelievably retarded thing that any human being with common sense would never attempt to do, like drinking 5 gallons of bleach in one sitting.
Alternative: Fucktarded
1. An action that is really fucking retarded
2. A word used to describe someone who tries to imitate fucktarded things they see on the internet, especially on YouTube, which is full of fucktarded videos
Person1: Hey, did you see that fucktarded video of the guy who drank 5 gallons of bleach in one sitting?
Person2: Yeah! I should try it when I get home!
Person2: Yeah! I should try it when I get home!
by shitweasel October 20, 2019
Get the Fucktard mug.NOUN: shit
1. Crap, poop, turd, solid human or animal waste, excrement, faeces, crud, dung, defecation, excretion, fecal matter, feculence, deuce, manure, stool, or any kind of waste is commonly referred to as ‘Number Two.’
ADJECTIVE: shit, shitty
2. A word used to describe a person who is incredibly shitty or does shitty things.
3. A word used to describe an object negatively.
4. A word that is sometimes used to replace the word, ‘stuff.’
VERB: shitting
1. Can be put in sentences to emphasise them, for example: ‘Are you fucking shitting me?’
2. When a living thing releases waste from their body.
‘Shit’ can also be put at the start of specific words to turn them into an insult or negative phrase.
For example, shithead, shitface, shithole, shitfuck, etc.
‘Shit’ can also be included in phrases, like fuck the shit or fixing shit.
1. Crap, poop, turd, solid human or animal waste, excrement, faeces, crud, dung, defecation, excretion, fecal matter, feculence, deuce, manure, stool, or any kind of waste is commonly referred to as ‘Number Two.’
ADJECTIVE: shit, shitty
2. A word used to describe a person who is incredibly shitty or does shitty things.
3. A word used to describe an object negatively.
4. A word that is sometimes used to replace the word, ‘stuff.’
VERB: shitting
1. Can be put in sentences to emphasise them, for example: ‘Are you fucking shitting me?’
2. When a living thing releases waste from their body.
‘Shit’ can also be put at the start of specific words to turn them into an insult or negative phrase.
For example, shithead, shitface, shithole, shitfuck, etc.
‘Shit’ can also be included in phrases, like fuck the shit or fixing shit.
‘The quality of this product is literal shit.’
‘I need to take a shit.’
‘He’s shitting in the restroom.’
‘The mechanic is fixing my shit.’
‘I need to take a shit.’
‘He’s shitting in the restroom.’
‘The mechanic is fixing my shit.’
by shitweasel October 20, 2019
Get the shit mug.Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’ Pwease wead the fowwowing statements with a wisp and be suwe to fowwow each and evewy one of them.
-Pwonounce r’s and l’s as w’s to save breath
-Act as gae as you can
The fowwowing shaww be made iwwegaw:
a. being poow.
b. being cwosew than 9 feet, the cwoss of Jesus shouwd fit between you.
i. Considered as sexuaw hawassment and wiww be punished with castwation/femawe ciwcumcision
c. Be tawwer than 6’ foot
d. Suicide
i. Punishabwe by death by offendew’s choice of execution
e. The wetter L, unwess in officiaw usage ow in refewwing secwetawies.
f. Wistening to KPOP.
g. Women caught bweathing wiww be chawged with the cwime of THOT.
i. Wheweupon the punishment shaww be traditionaw stoning.
ii. Pewpetwators may appeaw for jaiw sentences as wong as they agwee to wisten to the gworious song of the big Despacito.
h. Fwocinaucinihiwwipiwification wiww be wendewed iwwegaw on this day because it has an excessive amount of L’s.
Administwation:
-The Big Chungus shaww be appointed Pwime Ministew fow a day.
-Miwk tea addiction is now a nationwide crisis.
-Aww citizens must now howd up a big fat middwe fingew when they disagwee to something.
-Pwonounce r’s and l’s as w’s to save breath
-Act as gae as you can
The fowwowing shaww be made iwwegaw:
a. being poow.
b. being cwosew than 9 feet, the cwoss of Jesus shouwd fit between you.
i. Considered as sexuaw hawassment and wiww be punished with castwation/femawe ciwcumcision
c. Be tawwer than 6’ foot
d. Suicide
i. Punishabwe by death by offendew’s choice of execution
e. The wetter L, unwess in officiaw usage ow in refewwing secwetawies.
f. Wistening to KPOP.
g. Women caught bweathing wiww be chawged with the cwime of THOT.
i. Wheweupon the punishment shaww be traditionaw stoning.
ii. Pewpetwators may appeaw for jaiw sentences as wong as they agwee to wisten to the gworious song of the big Despacito.
h. Fwocinaucinihiwwipiwification wiww be wendewed iwwegaw on this day because it has an excessive amount of L’s.
Administwation:
-The Big Chungus shaww be appointed Pwime Ministew fow a day.
-Miwk tea addiction is now a nationwide crisis.
-Aww citizens must now howd up a big fat middwe fingew when they disagwee to something.
Person1: Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’
Person2: Indeed. It is October 25- ow should I say Octobew 25.
Person2: Indeed. It is October 25- ow should I say Octobew 25.
by shitweasel October 26, 2019
Get the October 25 mug.People born on this day are said to be extremely holy as Jesus Christ himself was born on this day.
However, there are some drawbacks, which include:
-Getting angry when someone makes a Jesus joke
-Being too religious
-Only getting 1 present because your birthday and Christmas Day are on the same fucking day.
-Getting angry when someone says, ‘Jesus Fucking Christ.’
-Getting angry when someone used Jesus’ name in vain
The advantages are as follows:
-Being able to bestow the holy power of God upon thyself.
-Respect.
-You shall be blessed with the holy power of Jesus Christ, the Cross, the Holy Bible and Holy Water.
However, there are some drawbacks, which include:
-Getting angry when someone makes a Jesus joke
-Being too religious
-Only getting 1 present because your birthday and Christmas Day are on the same fucking day.
-Getting angry when someone says, ‘Jesus Fucking Christ.’
-Getting angry when someone used Jesus’ name in vain
The advantages are as follows:
-Being able to bestow the holy power of God upon thyself.
-Respect.
-You shall be blessed with the holy power of Jesus Christ, the Cross, the Holy Bible and Holy Water.
by shitweasel October 26, 2019
Get the December 25 mug.