joe995's definitions
When two people, whether mentally challenged, or intoxicated, or both, decide to get into a fight by trying to do the moves of various martial arts, only to awkwardly fall over themselves doing kicks and flips in the most uncoordinated and clumsy manner. Often involves the two participants ripping off their shirts and yelling like in a cheap Kung Fu movie.
"At the party, two dudes got wasted and started to argue - later they were fighting in the parking lot. Both were trying Dumb Fu, but got more hurt hitting the ground or pulling their muscles doing these crazy moves, than actually hitting each other! It was so funny to watch!"
by joe995 January 7, 2024
Get the Dumb Fu mug.When a guy is naked, lying on his back, and due to extreme excitement, or more likely, extreme fear, he pees a strong stream of urine straight up all over himself.
(Dude, lying in bed naked, wakes up, seeing a burglar hovering over him with a gun to his head)
Dude: "Please don't kill me!"
Burglar: "I might, (cocks gun) just to have no witnesses, hahaha!!!"
Dude: "OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
(dude starts peeing like a baby)
Dude: "Please don't kill me!"
Burglar: "I might, (cocks gun) just to have no witnesses, hahaha!!!"
Dude: "OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
(dude starts peeing like a baby)
by joe995 July 18, 2023
Get the Peeing like a baby mug.A medium to large sized house, that is well kept yet vacant - having been bought by banks, house flippers or speculators for the sole sake of investment, like a gold brick, rather than being used to live in. One of the major reasons for the high prices of housing, and also the shortage of ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ housing.
Drove through this nice neighborhood, but noticed a lot of empty homes with no "for sale" signs. But later I found all those houses are half a million each, even though they aren't that big. Seem those empty homes are gold bricked houses.
by joe995 August 1, 2023
Get the gold bricked house mug.Old Maid I'd Like To Fuck
A woman who never married or had kids, yet in middle age she is still very hot - and really gets around. Loves to babysit her plainer-looking sister's kids so she can shower them with gifts and treats just like a grandmother, much to the resentment of her sister - especially when that sister's husband can't take his eyes off her (seeing what 'could've been') when she visits.
Much more rare that an actual MILF, but will be more common soon as more people will choose not to marry and/or have kids.
A woman who never married or had kids, yet in middle age she is still very hot - and really gets around. Loves to babysit her plainer-looking sister's kids so she can shower them with gifts and treats just like a grandmother, much to the resentment of her sister - especially when that sister's husband can't take his eyes off her (seeing what 'could've been') when she visits.
Much more rare that an actual MILF, but will be more common soon as more people will choose not to marry and/or have kids.
Husband (talking to his buddies at work): "Wow, you should've seen my wife's sis show up to see to the kids while me and my wife went to dinner. She was such a OMILF! The kids were pretty happy too, though my wife wasn't..."
by joe995 September 14, 2023
Get the OMILF mug.by joe995 October 2, 2023
Get the tooter mug.Trump: "Yes, it's true - a grabbed her by the pussy!"
Guy talking to Trump: "That's it? You mean you also didn't give her a Backwards Thumbs Up? I'm...disappointed!"
Guy talking to Trump: "That's it? You mean you also didn't give her a Backwards Thumbs Up? I'm...disappointed!"
by joe995 October 5, 2024
Get the Backwards Thumbs Up mug.Person watching news: "Wow! The candidates are running neck and neck!"
Other person: "Don't be silly - that's just a bunch of Horse Race Enthusiasts, twisting the polls for ratings. Ignore them - and just go out and VOTE!"
Other person: "Don't be silly - that's just a bunch of Horse Race Enthusiasts, twisting the polls for ratings. Ignore them - and just go out and VOTE!"
by joe995 October 21, 2024
Get the Horse Race Enthusiasts mug.