glurkmaster's definitions
1. The state of being physically stuck in one spot (usually on a couch or bed) because you are "doom-scrolling" or "rot-watching" content, despite having a full bladder, hunger, or urgent chores.
2. A specific type of "social glue" where one lingers in a doorway or at the edge of a conversation, unable to either fully join in or successfully leave.
2. A specific type of "social glue" where one lingers in a doorway or at the edge of a conversation, unable to either fully join in or successfully leave.
"I was supposed to leave for the gym an hour ago, but I’ve just been glurking on TikTok for the last forty minutes."
I tried to say goodbye at the party, but then I got caught glurking by the coat rack for ten minutes because I didn't want to interrupt their story."
I tried to say goodbye at the party, but then I got caught glurking by the coat rack for ten minutes because I didn't want to interrupt their story."
by glurkmaster January 9, 2026
Get the Glurking mug.1. The accumulated "digital silt" or physical clutter that builds up specifically because of procrastination.
2. A collective noun for the half-finished drinks, open browser tabs, and unread notifications that surround a person during a long session of glurking (the state of being stuck in place by a screen).
2. A collective noun for the half-finished drinks, open browser tabs, and unread notifications that surround a person during a long session of glurking (the state of being stuck in place by a screen).
"I need to clean the glurkage off my desk—there are three empty sparkling water cans and a bowl of popcorn from yesterday."
My laptop is running so slow because of the sheer glurkage of sixty open tabs I'm 'saving for later'."
My laptop is running so slow because of the sheer glurkage of sixty open tabs I'm 'saving for later'."
by glurkmaster January 9, 2026
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