edw007's definitions

tit dirt

(n.) A mysterious form of dust that is attracted by sweat on a person with severe Tourette's Syndrome around the abdomen and chest regions of the body.

Son: Dad, is that a Mickey Mouse T-Shirt?
Dad: The fuck you talkin' about?
Son: (Pointing)There's his ears there, his ears, and there's his face!
Dad: That's not Mickey Mouse, that's just TIT DIRT!

by edw007 September 2, 2008

snerious

A more emphasized version of serious, usually used when something is unbelievable; used in the same context as no way.

A: I found a $50 bill on the sidewalk yesterday.
B: Whoa, are you snerious?

by edw007 September 3, 2007

ufking

Used in the same context as fucking, but slightly less vulgar, yet still bearing the same context instead of "fiddlesticks" or some such other bullshit.

Me: Damn, I have to work Saturday again? This is the 3rd ufking time I've had--

Over-Sensitive Politically-Correct Mormon (interrupting): Hey! Watch what you're saying, there's kids around!

M: I know, hence the ufking, dummy!

OSPCM: No, I meant the "d-a-m-n" part.

by edw007 February 15, 2008

panda eyes

When one punches both eyes of another person and gives the victim 2 black eyes; causing the victim to have a strong facial resemblance of the panda.

I caught my girl cheating on me, so I grabbed sancho and beat the living hell out of him, and finished by knocking him out by punching the spleen, sprinkling birdseed and honey all over him, dragging his naked body onto a crowded street before finishing off his punk arse with a nice set of panda eyes. That'll teach him not to cheat again.

by edw007 October 2, 2007

Idiot Explorer

A disparaging term for Internet Explorer, especially given its higher propensity towards a slow computer/webpage experience, increased chances of malware or even toolbar infestations, and even in some cases, a bad layout since there are certain web designers that stopped bothering to design for IE compatibility. Thus, anybody who willingly uses IE despite MUCH better alternatives being installed on the computer is an idiot, hence "Idiot Explorer".

Gus (calling): Hey, I was trying to open this website and it keeps freezing, and there's 5 toolbars and every site I opened seems to have a popup. What's going on?
Me: Gus, for Pete's sake... How many times have I told you to stop using Idiot Explorer?

by edw007 May 18, 2014

2nd Column Shopper

When someone shops based on the price alone instead of the actual item they are buying, derived from the fact that most websites, menus and whatnot lists their price on the 2nd column. In other words, either a cheapskate or automatically assuming the most expensive option is best (open to interpretation).

1. "Mary only bought a side of eggs because it was the cheapest option on the menu, and she's still hungry. What a 2nd column shopper."
2. "Mike just got $100K car, but completely ignoring the fact that it has the reliability of a heroin junkie having withdrawal. Gotta love people who only look at the 2nd column!"

by edw007 January 23, 2019

shove comes to shovel

"If push comes to shove" means that a slight push will escalate into a fight, then this means that you're fighting the opponents until you have to bury them. In other words, this is the next step up in escalation, often as an extreme last-resort measure.

"Hey Mark, aren't you supposed to be studying for finals instead the Saturday night happy hour?"
"Nah, it's in 2 weeks, so I'll just wing it and study at a relaxed pace."
"Bro. You DO know that it's actually next week, right?"
"Oh damn, I gotta get studying! If push comes to shove, I'll just wing it all throughout the week though."
"But Mr. Smith's test is on Monday!"
"Now it looks like the time when shove comes to shovel... I'm gonna have to pull an all-nighter or two."

by edw007 June 14, 2019