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crudmonkey's definitions

show work

a teachers polite way of saying "I think you cheated/are going to cheat." Usually written on math assignments.
I got all the problems correct on my math assignment, but the teacher handed it back to me with an "F" and a note that said "Show work." What a bitch! Everyone can calculate 95+40 off the top of their head!
by crudmonkey October 9, 2014
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daddy manager

The superior one in a company that is only allowed to do certain things, because:
A. The employees are too stupid to do them
or

B. The employees aren't qualified to do them.
or
C. He just wants to show everyone how smart and great he is (whether or not he indeed really is).

Kind of like a relationship where "only daddy is allowed to touch the knives" to a 3 year old.
Customer: I want to buy that bottle of crown royale
Clerk: Ok!
Clerk #2: No wait! Alcohol sales need manager approval.

Clerk: Oh, so we have to wait for daddy manager to come approve the sale?!?! Bullshit!
by crudmonkey April 6, 2015
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Profile Monkey

A person who manages the facebook profile of a famous person. They post comments on the celebrity's behalf, and will sometimes speak as if they are the celebrity themselves.
"Omg! Justin Bieber said on facebook that he wants to give a shout out to me omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!"

"No, that's his profile monkey who said that. Justin doesn't give a fuck about you"
by crudmonkey November 7, 2016
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squirt the weasel

take a piss. Especially on the female side and when she doesn't shave her vajajay.
Sandrita needed to squirt the weasel because she drank too much Dr. Pepper
by crudmonkey April 25, 2020
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Faces

The fag and dyke epicenter of Sacramento, CA. This nightclub is filled with AIDS and all kinds of staph infections.
Paullywog went to Faces one night because his fag hag friends made him go.
by crudmonkey October 29, 2020
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she's at lunch

a poor excuse by pink collar workers who are helping their female friend be lazy and avoid answering phone calls of high importance at corporate/bureaucratic/government agencies. 9 times out of 10 its so they can fuck their boyfriend in the bathroom while on the clock.
*phone rings*
-Goldberg Financial, Patti speaking
-Hi, I never received my paycheck and I need to talk to Melissa, who is in charge of my account
-Oh She's at lunch, can I take a message?
-NO! WTF?!!! MY FAMILY IS STARVING, THE RENT IS DUE, AND I ONLY HAVE THIS ONE HALF HOUR BREAK IN A 12 HOUR SHIFT TO GET THIS HANDLED WTF?!!
by crudmonkey October 9, 2020
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jimmy jacking around

Messing around, especially when it comes to a job or important activity. Could also be a reference to beating a dead horse when it comes to getting a machine or important piece of equipment to work.
Steve said that Dave was jimmy jacking around so he got yelled at. Because Dave's a lazy fat nerd and nobody likes him.

Look I'm not going to jimmy jack around with that head gasket, just get an expensive mechanic to do it!
by crudmonkey December 3, 2020
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