bitchuck's definitions

cum dumpster diving

Oral on a woman who has recently had sexual intercourse with one or more casual partners. Effectively, "sloppy seconds" meets "muff diving" with a side order of creampie.

I married a hot but aging pornstar; my former best buddy married a Sunday school teacher. He'd accuse me of "cum dumpster diving", an ugly pejorative based on "dumpster diving" (retrieval of discarded items from trash for environmental re-use) and "cum dumpster" (a double-standard describing a woman with the sexual morals of a man). It's as if he thought our entire relationship was nothing but an orgy of multiple partners, fucklicking and creampie eating... every night. One day, when he was hitting the bottle and his wife was away, he sheepishly admitted he said what he had as he hadn't had sex in months and regretted many of his own life choices. I love my hotwife.

by bitchuck September 6, 2021

gag the fag

In homosexual male oral sex, to force the penis into the throat in such a way that it either blocks the airway or triggers gagging, coughing, retching or induces vomiting. The implication is either that the penis is abnormally large or that the sexual technique of the person receiving the oral favours is overly aggressive (for instance, pounding away at the throat as if it were a vagina).

Bigger is better, right? Blocking the throat during oral isn't sexy in real life, but that hasn't stopped the creation of multiple pornographic videos titled "gag the fag" or some variation thereof.

by bitchuck September 3, 2021

Sleazy PC

A clone of the IBM PC/XT manufactured in the mid-1980's by the (now-defunct) Zenith Radio Corporation. Branded as "Easy PC", these were marketed by the university to students because they were slightly cheaper than standard PC clones. Unfortunately, any cost advantage was more than made up for by their lack of expandability - making them an inferior product which quickly earned the "Sleazy PC" moniker.

Zenith Radio Corporation of Chicago went bankrupt (Chapter 11) in 1999, with whatever was left of the assets going to the Lucky Goldstar (LG) of Korea. Zenith's history goes back to the early days of ttelevision, where the slogan was unofficially "the junk goes in before tha name goes on". Zenith bought the (also now-defunct) Heathkit and made a brief foray into computing in the 1980's, which led to rubbish like the Sleazy PC.

by bitchuck October 22, 2023

drop the soap

An utterly hilarious Bob Rivers song parody of "Rock the Boat" (1973) by The Hues Corporation.

And no, it's all an urban legend. It's perfectly safe to drop the soap in the prison showers. It's just not safe to pick up the soap after... the jail showers are disgusting and you really don't want to know what's down there.

Ever since this prison term began
My tush has lived in fear of some big hairy man
And I'm nervous hanging out with these thugs and thieves
They're looking for a quiet place to corner me

I hope that I get out on probation
Before someone in that washroom gives me love deviation

So I'd like to know if
You get the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion
And I'd like to know when
You make a motion
And I'd like the guard to
Hear the commotion

Drop the soap
Don't drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
Not safe to bend over
Drop the soap
Don't tap my butt, bubba
Drop the soap...

by bitchuck October 22, 2023

kinky bum sex

When two homeless bums make the beast with two backs.

One homeless guy will slide his hard throbbing cock into another guys tight arsehole, then thrust in and out, getting harder and faster until he blows his load. One up the bum, no harm done.

In the afterglow of this kinky bum sex, one hobo will then ask "spare some change" and the other will invariably reply "get a job, you bum".

Not to be confused with kinky butt sex, which involves perverted sexual acts performed on chain smokers while they're puffing away, using the dying butt of one cigarette to light the next.

Unable to deal with the City's ongoing housing problems, our fearless municipal leaders have brought in marketers to promote homelessness as a valid lifestyle choice. They're not "homeless people", they're "people experiencing homelessness" and their lifestyle promoted as one of kinky bum sex as people experiencing homelessness will do anything to keep warm.

by bitchuck October 23, 2023

gangbang

Any wild orgy between Smurfsj.

Due to the lopsided gender ratio, any such gathering will inevitably become a gangbang.

According to the reference volume "Sex and the Single Smurfette": as a form of group sex, a Smurf orgy becomes inevitably a gangbang due to lopsided demographics. In the Smurf village there is only one Smurfette. There are seemingly unlimited numbers of male Smurfs, each of whom has blue balls. The only way to relieve all of these blue balls is for Smurfette to smurf every man or boy in the village, one by one, until everyone's smurfed out and too tired to continue.

by bitchuck November 25, 2023

pool boy

A "pool boy" is a servant who cleans pools.

In Internet pornography, these men exist primarily as eye candy to the rich and famous. The posting is prestigious and anyone who takes up the mantle treated as an Adonis among men.

I studied at the Sorbonne to become a pool boy; while there, I espoused a blonde French maidservant as my bride. We had expected this to bring us fame and fortune in California, like that depicted on PornHamster.

If it's on the Internet, it must be true.

Neither of us is quite sure how exactly both careers turned out to be dead-end janitorial paths. If we can't rely upon PornHamster as an expert source when making professional career decisions, whom can we trust?

by bitchuck August 24, 2024