WhoaTimesTwo's definitions

The Duke

A drafting teacher at a particular high school. The baddest engineer mofo to ever walk the face of the earth. If you do something bad in his class, you get owned immediately, due to all the cameras watching your every move. He frequently calls people dude or man.

Verb: to duke; duked

Means to get owned by The Duke

Guy #1: So how was The Duke's class today?
Guy #2: Man, this guy was messing around with all the computers, and The Duke totally duked him out. Now he's banned from all computers in the school!
Guy #1: Boner...

by WhoaTimesTwo October 17, 2004

holy crap on a stick

1. This is used when saying holy crap just doesn't do the situation justice. When someone shouts "Holy crap on a stick!", the best thing to do is run quickly in the direction from which the shout came. Otherwise you might miss something totally once-in-a-lifetime-awesome.

2. A chunk of heavenly-blessed feces on a broken off tree branch. Grants wishes. Smites evil.

1. Jimmy rushed out of the men's room and shouted "Holy crap on a stick! Have you guys seen the mural of the nativity scene done in urine and soap in there?!!"

2. That old lady's staring at my boxers. Time to smite.

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004

handheld pickle cannon

A rather large, handheld gun that fires pickles or other pickle-shaped objects. Favored weapon of the anal marauder, who likes to assault victims from a distance, then close in for the violation.

Peter got hit in the eye by a mysterious vegetable shot from a handheld pickle cannon. He was one of the lucky ones.

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004

intrusion shield

What every single dude needs to wear when he goes out on the town at night. It comes in two models- stainless steel buns and plasma offender repulsion. Stainless steel lets people know you're well defended (and leaves your enemy with marks and bad dreams), while plasma offender repulsion lets you make sure the offender will never offend again.

After slipping on a package of cottage cheese, Steve was saved from mass absolute bangage by his stainless steel buns intrusion shield.

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004

reading my email

One of several innocent-sounding responses which can be used by regular porn viewers when their parents/spouse(s) ask them what they're doing on the computer.

Mom: What're you doing?
Juan: Reading my email.
Mom: Oh cool. Can I read mine too?
Dad: Uh no honey, come back later...this is an important email. We'll be done in about an hour.

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004

crops

The children of a hillbilly farmer whose actual produce failed during the year. He takes them to fairs to enter into contests instead of actual food, though they don't taste nearly as well. They usually can succeed well if entered as yams or squash. Poor kids have to live with that for the rest of their lives.

Jim Bob: Mah corns dinn't grow so wyell tis yar, so I took my two gyurls Wynona and Edbert to the fair! Hyuck. They won the squarsh contest!

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004

plowing new ground

1. When the prostitutes in town get so overloaded with STDs that it becomes visible via fungus growth, and you are forced to migrate to another part of the city to find ones with a health rating of at least 23%.

2. When a straight person turns gay, or vice versa.

1. I'm gonna start plowing new ground around 4th street tonight man. Last night one of the regulars on 3rd blew up a car with her yeast infection.

2. Fred's hanging around the women's section in Kmart for a different reason since he's turned straight. He's plowing new ground now.

by WhoaTimesTwo March 29, 2004