Raoulduke69's definitions

dickless horseman

a ghostly apparition that appears holding a severed dick in his hands while riding a horse.

the story is that the dickless horseman was the town drunk, who, in an attempt to obtain more liquor, hopped on his horse bare assed in a drunken stupor. while riding to town he fell from his horse after getting his dick caught in the reigns. now he rides the roads in search of whiskey, and a doctor who can sew his dick back on.

by Raoulduke69 January 16, 2023

bitchitus

while not as often talked about, it is actually the most common virus known to exist. the vast majority of women contract the virus at least a dozen times in a single year. a common misconception is that only women can be infected.

woman: (nah, nah, blah, blah, blah, nag, nag, bitch, complain, etc.)
man: ah shit she's got bitchitus again i better go quarantine myself in my shop with a fat joint and a six pack.

by Raoulduke69 November 16, 2023

cock watchman

a gay security guard

i almost got caught breaking into a building but lucky for me the guard was a cock watchman so i just flopped out my dong and he let me go.

by Raoulduke69 January 17, 2024

american history x

a class to teach kids, who think they are badasses, that they are in fact not badass.

"man john is such a fuckboi i hope they stick his ass in american history x for first period this semester"

by Raoulduke69 January 17, 2024

noble prize

an award given out yearly for being the shittiest employee at barnes and noble WITHOUT getting fired.

"man look at Tim. hes late everyday, comes in high as hell, drinks all the coffee at the bar and sleeps on the reading sofa and hes STILL not been fired. hes a shoo-in for the noble prize this year".

by Raoulduke69 January 17, 2024

the noble surprise

when someone at barnes and noble leaves a printed out dick pick photo in the book or magazine of their choice. the hope is that someone will open the book or mag and a dick pic will fall out so others can laugh at them.

"dude my grandma picked up a better homes and garden mag at barnes and noble and got the noble surprise right when her pastor walked by".

by Raoulduke69 January 17, 2024

four loko factor

the unplanned intrusion by four loko into your average night out plans. often leads to a really bizarre next day.

"bro i stood up my girlfriend last night but completely by mistake. i was getting ready for the date and sipping on my for loko. next thing i know im waking up on the lawn naked at noon the next day and my dog is licking peanut butter of my dick. its that damn four loko factor. what a sneaky bastard.

by Raoulduke69 January 18, 2024