OB's definitions

Bender

A term commonly used to describe a period of time (preferably more than 24 hours) spent escaping life's harsh realities (marriage, work etc) Consumption of alcohol and drugs is a must. Anything goes.

"Any idea why Tim isn't at his desk?"
"I think he's still on a bender from the weekend, why?"
"His wife is looking for him..."
"Deary me!"

by OB August 24, 2005

No

Can often mean Yes and rape cases often manifest themselves from this popular misunderstanding.

"Do ya think I'm sexy?"
"No"
Do you fancy sucking my dick?"
"No"
"Alriiighty then..."

by OB August 24, 2005

off the hook

A truly outrageous party or gathering. To recieve this moniker, the experience should of transcended the norm and in fact gone way beyond it - to realms that are (almost) void of defintion. The happiness, love and sheer exuberance of it all should of reminded everyone in attendance the joy of what is to be alive. Off the hook is as close as we've got thus far to describe such an event. Use sparingly.

"How was your weekend Jim?"
"Jesus, fucking Christ, it was insane, completely and utterly off hook!"
"Oh, very well. I need those insurance reports on my desk first thing!"

by OB August 24, 2005

Zero

Zero is less nothing but more not something or rather abscence of things (that allow the user to individuate matter in space and therefore make sense of the world.) Or it can be (in this particular case) the opposite of hero as in from zero to hero or vice versa.

"That chap needs to spend less time trying to define deeply complicated philosophical issues like zero and more time time trying to get a job."
"Your right, he's a real zero."

by OB August 28, 2005

Arabian cradle

Belongs to the same family as T-bagging. And by jove it's fun (if your knees are made of titanium.) Simply prop yourself over your "lover's" face and then gently place your testicles over his/her eyes. Now, instruct them to flutter their eyelids and hey presto!

"What's with the grin?"
"Oh, I taught my missus how to give me an Arabian cradle last night!"
"Really, what is it?"
"C'mere!"

by OB August 28, 2005

Smash n Grab

Simply means "in and out" and can therefore apply to a great many things. You do the math.

"She's gone to her parents for the week!"
"Amazing, smash n grab to Bobby's Sauna this weekend then?"

or

"She says she'll leave me if I don't do a smash n grab to the registry office!"
"Jesus, she found out about Bobby's Sauna?"

by OB August 28, 2005

Unemployment

In the UK we have a saying. It goes like this. Whats green and gets you fucked? Your Giro! This sums up enemployment exquisitely - go down to the: job centre/ dole office / welfare - pick up your govermental contribution for food and rent, walk out of the building and directly into the nearest pub and spend every last penny of it on alcohol and drugs.

"It's bloody busy in ere, whats the beef?"
"We're next to the labour exchange guv."

by OB August 29, 2005