Nutmegger's definitions

Stamford, CT

Stamford is overrated. Yeah, low crime and all, but there's no affordable housing for sale, traffic is horrendous, Metro-North fees keep going up, public school kids are stupid, downtown is a concrete jungle... I do love the beaches - you can sit down on the sand, close your eyes and listen to the Hondurans playing their Spanish music. Almost feels like you're in the Caribbean. Then take a swim, read a book and start the journey home, still smelling the salt air as you cruise down Shippan Avenue. Man, you was wrong. Stamford's the shit! You've got the mall, the library, the new Target and low crime! And diversity! And the library has a Starbucks. I'm sold.

Q: "So, where are you from?"
A: "I'm from Stamford."
Q: "So what's it like living in California?"
A: "No you fucknut. I said Stamford, not University of Beijing at Palo Alto."
Q: "I don't get it."

by Nutmegger April 1, 2005

Wichita

A medium-sized "city" in "Kansas". There's not much to say about it.

I'm going to Wichita. Far from this opera forevermore.

by Nutmegger November 26, 2004

seattle

About as far away as you can go and still stay in the Lower 48. There is an obsession with kings there, with the now destroyed Kingdome, the fact Seattle is in King County, and KING-TV. Of course, the king of the world, Bill Gates, who partly contributed to this and every other entry on this page, lives near Seattle, in Medina.

Sir Mix a Lot is from Seattle.

by Nutmegger February 13, 2004

camden

Camden is a city across the Delaware River from Philadelphia. This is one of America's most economically depressed cities. Economic development has been restricted to the waterfront with sites such as Tweeter Center and State Aquarium. But interior Camden is ghetto.

Camden is at the foot of the Ben Franklin Bridge.

by Nutmegger February 13, 2004

hack

A taxi driver in any city, not necessarily New York. In NYC, hack can also refer to a livery cab driver (cabs that drive in bad neighborhoods where taxis usually don't).

The TV show Hack takes place in Philadelphia.

by Nutmegger February 14, 2004

el

The Chicago elevated rail system and the biggest piece of junk in the world. Trains are slow, stops are located two blocks apart, trains stop in the middle of the track for no apparent reason and stay there for 5 minutes, stations are old, dirty and disgunting, the fare keeps going up, every once in a while trains crash. There are about 5 stops on different lines with the name "Western" and this could lead to confusion. The stop called "Central" is nowhere near Chicago's downtown. Many of the stations are elevated and don't have stair or escalator access, causing you to have to walk a shitload of steps. Luckily, the crappiness of the system means trains are rarely, if ever, overcrowded.

Tear down that piece of shit and bury it underground, where I at least don't have to look it at it on my way to work.

by Nutmegger February 15, 2004

springfield

1. Name of many cities. The largest and most well-known Springfield is in Massachusetts. It's home to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Springfield, IL is also well-known by elementary school students as a state capital, but otherwise, it's a backwater. Springfield, MO is even more of a backwater but it's home to SW Missouri State Univ (SMS). There are also smaller Springfields in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Oregon and Ohio. None of these are worth discussing.
2. The fictional town where TV's The Simpsons live. It's not supposed to be in any state; rather, it's Springfield, USA. Identifying it with any real city would be a real embarassment because this Springfield is home to a fake barf factory.

We drove through Springfield on our way to Springfield.

by Nutmegger February 15, 2004