LordJenal's definitions

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Seat Hogging

Something that is done on a public train, bus, tram, etc... It is the act of one person finding two free seats, sitting down on one of the seats and placing their bag on the other seat to try and deter other people from sitting down. It is often seen as quite rude and selfish when people are hogging two seats. The main motive is mainly because some people feel uncomfortable about a stranger sat in a very close proximity to them which is understandable but not much that can be done when busy though, better than people standing up.

How dare that kid place a bag onto that seat when the train is this busy. That's seat hogging for you.

by LordJenal December 6, 2022

Sex on the Television

It's alright yes. But do make sure that you don't fall off.

I'm fed up of sex on the television. They all keep falling off.

by LordJenal December 10, 2022

Fish n' Ships

If Dr Harold Shipman's old surgery in Hyde were to be turned into a chippy. This would be the name.

Let's go to Dr Shipman's old surgery and get some Fish n' Ships.

by LordJenal April 12, 2023

Jamie Oliver

Absolute idiot responsible for a wide range of annoying things. He ruined the recipe's of Irn Bru, Lucozade and other well known soft drinks with his dumb sugar tax and furthermore the recipe of Coca Pops. He also banned Turkey Twizzlers in schools for apparent reason. He also forced UK supermarkets to put voluntary age restrictions of 16 and over on energy drinks where people in their 30s are getting ID'd. This man thinks that he is the king of food and drink choices.

Jamie Oliver is an absolute moron who loves ruining people's food and drink choices! When did anyone ever tell him what he was allowed to eat or drink?

by LordJenal April 15, 2023

Strangeways

A highly secure residential estate in Manchester, England that houses people who have "strange ways" (strange behaviour).

The inmates at Strangeways sure do have "strange ways" of living live.

by LordJenal April 16, 2023