FitofPeak2's definitions

hunk rock

A contraction of "humorous punk rock," a musical genre comprising punk rock works intended as parodies of the actual punk oeuvre, which originated with Paloma Music's 1978 release of the vinyl 45 recording "Picked Off the Litter" by John Vomit and the Leather Scabs, a band formed by members of the Stanford Chaparral campus humor magazine, featuring the songs "Punk Rock Star" and "I Suck."

Unbelievable, I just scored a mint-condition copy of the original Hunk Rock record, "Picked Off the Litter," on eBay for only a thousand bucks!

by FitofPeak2 January 6, 2024

Funderware

A fleece jacket or vest bearing the embroidered logo of an investment bank, venture capital firm, private equity shop or other financial companybb that provides funding -- the basic outerwear garment of finance bros and sisses. Also known as a Finance Jersey, VC Jersey, PE Jersey or Wall Street Jersey.

Oh check him out, the dude in the North Face Polartec funderware -- "Schmendrick Capital." Wall Street jersey, pathetic . . . and yet sharp.

by FitofPeak2 February 5, 2024

small problem problem

A problem, especially one encountered in large organizations, that is smaller in scale than can easily be fixed with the large-scale tools on hand, leading to great life-is-too-short frustration with one's inability to immediately solve it. For example: you need $7 more than you thought to pay for the lunch just delivered for your office meeting, which can be paid for only in cash, but to obtain petty cash you must fill out three different forms and get two managerial approvals. Or, you need to swat a fly, but all you have is a sledgehammer.

Mark: Unbelievable, I just want to put this birthday card in the outgoing office mail, but I asked Ted if it was OK, and he says I have to fill out an MC-1453 "Request for Personal-Use Policy Exception" form and get two signatures. I thought that was only for, like, taking a company car or using a conference room for some nonbusiness reason.

JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.

by FitofPeak2 August 30, 2023

Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR")

Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.

Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.

by FitofPeak2 September 4, 2023

Ferrous Oxide's Day Off

A tongue-in-cheek name for rust removal duty (ferrous oxide being the precursor to rust on steel objects), especially on Navy ships, playing on the vivid contrast between the tedious and highly unpleasant nature of the duty, involving the use of wire brushes and toxic chemicals often under a blazing sun, compared to the delightful, carefree leisure tableau depicted by the three teen protagonists of the 1986 Matthew Broderick film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Chief Petty Officer: It's your lucky day, sailor -- two weeks of Ferrous Oxide's Day Off starting at eight bells.

Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.

Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.

by FitofPeak2 September 28, 2023

In 'N' Out Drive-Thru

Medical vernacular for a colonoscopy (colon) and an upper endoscopy (stomach) performed in one visit to the doctor -- aka the "spit roast."

My gastroenterologist thought it would be a good idea to check both my stomach and my colon, so I had to go in for an In 'N' Out Drive-Thru last week. Came back clean. Are you overdue for yours?

by FitofPeak2 January 22, 2022

amusocompromised

Humorless; dour; unsmiling.

Man, Bill's roommate is severely amusocompromised -- we must have watched six "Seinfelds" last night and the guy didn't crack a smile the whole time.

by FitofPeak2 December 6, 2021