-hef-'s definitions

bottle shopper

A girl who goes to the store to shop for the perfect size bottle to masterbate with.

My girlfriend is a bottle shopper. She spent 30 minutes in the shampoo aisle looking for a bottle 3 inches wide and 10 inches long to fuck.

by -HEF- September 3, 2009

gap fuck

When a man and woman are naked, they are both standing up, the woman has her thighs together, and the guy fucks the gap at the top of her thighs just below her snizz. It works facing each other, or the guy behind.

My girl was on the rag, so I gap fucked her last night.

by -hef- September 16, 2009

mizzenmast

A naval term for your dick.

I gave her the mizzenmast to the port hole.

I gave her the mizzenmast to the poop deck.

by -hef- September 16, 2009

ball jar

It's where your wife keeps your balls once you get married.

My wife keeps a lock on the ball jar to keep me in line.

My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.

by -hef- September 16, 2009

anniversary

for her: the date on which you had your first date, or the day on which you were married.

for him: the date on which she... first blew you, fucked you, gave you a handjob, let you go brown, let you earn your red wings, swallowed your gob for the first time, let you go ass to mouth, kissed another hot chick in front of you, gave you a bloagie, or gave you a blumpkin.

I gave her flowers for our wedding anniversary, but got nothing on our bloagie anniversary. Weird.

by -hef- September 16, 2009

diaper dick

1. what you call someone that is too young to understand something.
2. what you call someone younger than you.

I can't believe the shit music that these diaper dicks are listening to these days.

by -hef- September 18, 2009

shit chill

When you have to crap, but can't get to a bathroom and you stand perfectly still, clenching. Then your body shakes briefly like you were standing in 20 below weather.

I had to dump at the concert but I didn't want to miss "Hammer Smashed Face", so I held it in and got a shit chill.

by -hef- September 18, 2009