The five-dimensional extension of quantum theory, proposing that quantum particles don't just have probability waves—they actually exist across all probability branches simultaneously, and what we call "wavefunction collapse" is just our consciousness synchronizing with a specific probability coordinate. This elegantly resolves the measurement problem (the particle was always in a definite probability branch; we just weren't observing it), explains quantum entanglement (particles share probability coordinates across space), and provides a framework for understanding why your computer only crashes when you have an unsaved document (you've shifted to a probability branch where the crash happens, while in other branches, you wisely saved and are now drinking coffee, victorious).
Example: "He tried to explain spacetime-probability quantum mechanics to his tech support person. 'My computer isn't crashing randomly,' he said. 'I've just shifted to a probability branch where the crash occurs. In another branch, it's fine, and I'm not calling you.' The tech support person said that in every branch where people called him with this kind of explanation, he hung up. He then demonstrated branch selection by hanging up."
by Abzugal February 14, 2026
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