JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
Get the JESUS CHRIST mug.Yes, it's multiple parts this one...
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ mug.A cheeky phrase that is used when intending to politely ask for anything. It both captivates its recipients, and lets them know that the user is a follower of Jesus.
Mama:
Son, would you like some more milk?
Son:
Yes mama.
Mama:
What’s the magic word?
Son:
Pleasus Christ.
Mama:
Good boy, my son. Now go pray to Jesus. Pleasus turn off the light before going to bed.
Son, would you like some more milk?
Son:
Yes mama.
Mama:
What’s the magic word?
Son:
Pleasus Christ.
Mama:
Good boy, my son. Now go pray to Jesus. Pleasus turn off the light before going to bed.
by bodakun April 19, 2024
Get the Pleasus christ mug.A person who feels that God exists and that God assigned them a specific gender with divine intention. This person accepts their assigned gender as given at birth and aims to honor their creator and the identity that was assigned to them by God.
How are you not all stressed out about your pronouns? Because I was Christ-gendered at birth and it's not a problem to be solved.
by HardColdTruth May 3, 2024
Get the Christ-gendered mug.(To the editors, please let this be approved. I am in no way trying to impose my beliefs on anyone, as I am not forcing anyone to convert to Christianity and am not trying to offend anyone either. All I want to do is help people because Christ saved my life when I was in a really bad spot and would like for others to feel the same amount of joy as I am right now. Thank you)
Jesus Christ- A character from the Holy Bible. Many believe Jesus Christ is fictional, but there is a ton of historical proof that says Jesus Christ really did exist and really did die on the cross. Moreover, a lot of people have decided not to put their faith in Jesus Christ, as they believe that the whole notion of there being a god who will save us all is asinine. This is wrong for two reasons.
Jesus Christ- A character from the Holy Bible. Many believe Jesus Christ is fictional, but there is a ton of historical proof that says Jesus Christ really did exist and really did die on the cross. Moreover, a lot of people have decided not to put their faith in Jesus Christ, as they believe that the whole notion of there being a god who will save us all is asinine. This is wrong for two reasons.
by TrynaBeAesthetic+GoodStudent May 8, 2024
Get the Jesus Christ mug.This is the first part(same guy like before)
1) We are certain that there is a God who created the universe. This is true, because according to the principle of the conservation of energy(an actual physics principle that has proven to be true), that energy can neither be created nor destroyed(found in Wikipedia), which means that the universe would have no chance of existing to begin with, if someone smart enough, who is above all things and above all physical laws that transcend the universe, didn’t create universe itself. Also another reason why god exists, is because of the biological principle of inheritance, which states that the ascendant will inherit characteristics from his creator. Effectively, if we know there must be a creator of the universe because of the principle of the conservation of energy and that creator must be similar to its creation. So, if the universe is infinite, then the creator must be too; and if the universe has incredible powers in it(black holes, gamma ray bursts), then the creator must also be all powerful.
You know what we just did? We just described God. So there you have it, that’s why God exists.
1) We are certain that there is a God who created the universe. This is true, because according to the principle of the conservation of energy(an actual physics principle that has proven to be true), that energy can neither be created nor destroyed(found in Wikipedia), which means that the universe would have no chance of existing to begin with, if someone smart enough, who is above all things and above all physical laws that transcend the universe, didn’t create universe itself. Also another reason why god exists, is because of the biological principle of inheritance, which states that the ascendant will inherit characteristics from his creator. Effectively, if we know there must be a creator of the universe because of the principle of the conservation of energy and that creator must be similar to its creation. So, if the universe is infinite, then the creator must be too; and if the universe has incredible powers in it(black holes, gamma ray bursts), then the creator must also be all powerful.
You know what we just did? We just described God. So there you have it, that’s why God exists.
by TrynaBeAesthetic+GoodStudent May 8, 2024
Get the Jesus Christ mug.