I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.

Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears

by Christophlak June 18, 2024

Jared Effect Theory

Aka the ‘Jared Meeks Phenomenon’ occurs when, something that should go wrong won’t, to enforce one’s ego and ignorance on those around him.

The Jared Effect Theory would consist of someone telling you something profound/unbelievable, then the subject will either complete the task and get consumed by self affirmations, or the subject might come up with any excuse in the world to avoid being looked at as human.

by imchampurchump March 28, 2025

Jared

A Candian who likes Hockey and looks like a Discord Moderator

Is your name Jared cause you look like one?

by NattyJ_ July 20, 2023

Jared

The type of fuck boy that stares at girl's tits when walking with his significant other

Yo that boy being a Jared.

by UnfortunatelyThatsFunny July 21, 2023

jared puga

a common name amongst latino homosexuals who enjoy having their poop shoot “tongue punched!”

June is my friend Jared Pugas favorite month, because of all of the silly made up holidays in that month. That same friend also goes to epstein island for a visit wit the best tongue puncher in the land.

by SillyBoyArDee July 25, 2023

Jared Appreciation

This is when a group of men, typically around the ages of 14-25 get together to appreciate a guy named Jared Ford Meamet. These are typically large gatherings but can scale down to around 3-5 people but typically tend to range from 10-25 people at a time.

Hey wanna Throw a Jared Appreciation

by Rapidddd July 29, 2023