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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Jesus Christ

by big_nae_nae August 11, 2023
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Oh Mary of mother Christ the saint 2nd

The action of fucking a Muslim dog in a Christian church while all the nuns watch
Omg I did a Oh Mary of mother Christ the saint 2nd in the local church
No way you are so cool
by Skksksmakakkskkakaksm December 22, 2020
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jizzus christ

its when you're jacking off and about to cum then you see jesus on the wall so you end up edging yourself
by sexypogger November 1, 2020
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Resurrection of Christ

A spiritual sexual act, used to assert dominance on the Mormons. To complete the holy act, you will need a flash light, and a crucifix. Once you have convinced the dirty Mormon girl to bless you with her precious womb, you will position her into the “doggy” position. (You must ensure the room is completely dark) as you proceed to pound away, you sneak out the flash light and crucifix. With Cheetah like speed you turn on the flashlight and jam it into her anal cavity, to where the light is shining into your face, and proceed to raise the cross above your head, announcing that Jesus has been resurrected.
“As the light of holiness touched my face, and the cross was above my head, she coward in fear. For Jesus had been rebirth’Ed in her womb. The “Resurrection of Christ.”
by Daddydamon94 January 20, 2021
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Resting Christ face

A plastic false face usually Caucasian with a strained look of hope burnt in facial expression leaving dopy arrogant hays on there face at all times.
Did Kevin Sorbo alway have resting christ face? My stomach Never turned from watching that hercules show
by Sub128 January 30, 2021
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