queer beard

Someone who you coauthor with who has a marginalized gender identity or sexual orientation (e.g. LGBT2Q+), in order to credibly discuss issues of gender as a cishet person. Could equally apply to people of marginalized racial identities (see race beard).

That guy only writes with so-and-so so he can talk about queer topics without being attacked, and get into those progressive journals! I would go as far to say he's using them as a queer beard...

by secretuser420 April 7, 2020

Trudeau's Beard

A beard grown with the sole purpose of making you look more adult, mature, experienced or wise, exactly as Justin Trudeau did before the Canadian 2019 parliamentary elections. It hepled him win even though he had an affair in which he was accused for being racist for his apparent fetish of painting himself brown at parties

"Have you seen Geo's new look? Whatcha all think?"
"I haven't ever thought of the possibility of seeing such a good example of Trudeau's Beard in real life. No way anyone's gonna believe he's older than 14."
"Yeah, but he could run for the PM's office if he supported the pipeline and spoke better French."

by th.unda June 8, 2020

Fructose Beard

A fleshy, saggy, pouch-like formation under the chin caused by overconsumption of highly processed, fructose-laden snack foods. A fructose beard obscures the natural jawline and renders the victim's face shapeless and lacking in definition.

Honey Boo-Boo's mom is sporting a serious fructose beard.

by barfstormman1 August 30, 2013

weird in the beard

Its when some dude with fur on his face that your dating starts getting on your freaking NERVES

Stop putting my hood over my face, its getting all weird in the beard!

by ghostrider7 April 12, 2012

Beard Slaw

The left over juices on your face after eating out a woman.

Man, Stacy got so wet last night while I was performing cunnilingus. I had beard slaw all over my face when i was finished!

by dartiki August 1, 2012

Handsome Beard

When a man and a very nice beard growth, thick and well kept without the need of constant grooming.

Person 1: Wow check that mans beard out it really suits him!

Person 2: Oh yeah, you're right...that truly is a handsome beard!

by punkwendyhouse November 14, 2011

Pubic Beard

A long curly beard that looks like a crotch rug worm on elderly man or a replacement of manliness when the mans genitalia is shorn like sheep are.

David letterman is so old he wears a pubic beard on his face to pretend he still has testosterone. Look at all the Cheetos caught in that mans pubic beard, he needs to shower after eating. He is insecure so wears a pubic beard because everything will be fine if he has one.

by “Goat Head” aka puncture vine December 12, 2022