When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor
Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.
by LevMehArone January 25, 2022
Get the Pulling a Jared mug.A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.
Jared has a massive dick.
by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022
Get the Jared mug.This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.
by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022
Get the Jared mug.A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him
by anonymous April 3, 2022
Get the Jared mug.The most Jared thing a Jared could ever do is be named Jared. They are constantly taking bathroom breaks each one longer then the last. They are experts in the arts of PC building and take pride in the fact that they know how to build a Lego or two (thanks to an engineering background). Expect them to talk about their Linus Tech Tips water bottle every now and then. That is just the Jared way.
by wordsarentreal78 April 12, 2022
Get the Jared mug.Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…
Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.
by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022
Get the Jared mug.Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.
In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
Get the Jared mug.