flex tape is basically the only thing able to keep your ass from tearing during those hot, sweaty nights that you decided that getting butt fucked by Thanos was a good idea. And don’t get me wrong, Thanos will make passionate love to you and will do it well, but not even his gauntlet can stop you from almost getting split into to by his massive purple cock. Only flex tape can.
person 1: my marriage is falling apart. my kids have aids. i’m being evicted in 34 minutes. please god, I can’t do this alone. help. me.
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
by depressed as actual f u c k February 22, 2019
Get the Flex Tape mug.When you decide to leave everything to the last minute so you stay up until 7AM to finish it. Bonus points if you go to McDonald's in 2 hour intervals for a coffee break.
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Get the bring the flex mug.A tape type of product from flex seal™, mostly known from the two videos of jontron; "waterproofing my life with FLEX TAPE - Jontron" and "FLEX TAPE II: the flexening - Jontron". The company has made many commercials and Phil Swift is in most of them telling us the many used of flex tape. It can instantly bond in to almost anything and can stop any leak. Plus, some of them even work underwater!
Phil: Flex tape is super strong and when Its on, it holds on tight!
Jon: *shook* no Phil you're super strong.
Jon: *shook* no Phil you're super strong.
by Pixel41 December 18, 2018
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