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Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass

A description of the state of rigor mortis, usually in a victim who has died where discovery of the death is delayed until after rigor has commenced

A reference to a rural belief that some members of the clergy frequently have anal sex with farm animals, particularly young calves
"They found him dead out in the woods. He was stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass."
by Redd D. Ringbone February 24, 2010
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Preacher's Hands

Often manicured, clean, soft, and free of scars, callouses, or any other evidence of actual labor, preacher's hands indicate a life of idle preaching.
"That Habitat for Humanity recruiter was full of shit. How can he claim to build anything? He's got total preacher's hands."

"My boss says he knows how to fix a car, but have you seen his preacher's hands? The only fixing he can do is with a credit card."
by Charmingly Grouchy June 29, 2010
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The Preacher Effect

The feeling you get when someone has reached so far into what you are doing it feels like they have inserted themselves into your every crevasse of your anal canal
Adam felt The Preacher Effect so much he could read the guys wrist watch protruding from his mouth.

That was the worst Preacher Effect of my life. Now my arse is so stretched 4 squatters have permanently moved in to ease the pain.
by EvLovesGoldenRivets November 16, 2020
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preacher cuff

Hateful Man. Person who pretends to be your buddy, then puts a knife or some time bomb bullshit in your brain.
This preacher cuff hook me
How so?
He told me he was yours.
by OhThisGuy21 October 22, 2017
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preachering

the doing of a preacher.
today, as i was preachering, i looked into the crowd and saw a giraffe staring at me.
by dr. fleuss August 6, 2011
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Preacher cookie

A cookie you give your children, when you want them to go outside and not come back in until your parents are done doing the nasty.
“Kids come get your preacher cookie, you know what time it is!”
by Emjay bongsweed January 6, 2024
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That Vegan Preacher

a common nickname for the famous YouTuber and TikTok influencer "That Vegan Teacher"
Have you seen That Vegan Preacher's latest video?
Yeah, I can't believe she compared non-vegans to Hitler.
by wordyteen January 27, 2024
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