late onset redneck syndrome

a condition where someone (often a boy/ man) has some form of country background but it doesn’t manifest until triggered by either severe trauma or grief at the ages 16-50. Takes 4-12 months to fully run its cycle. Currently incurable. Defined by 4 stages:

Stage 1: Painful event happens to patient.. someone puts them on country music. Stage 1 consists of discovering country music and 1-5 artists they like.

Stage 2: 1-3 months of country music leads to a lifestyle change… different speech, accent, minor aesthetic changes. Drinking cold beer is not mandatory, but often accelerates progress. Some people stay here for years. others progress further.

Stage 3: If yet another event occurs, and country music or life yet again is used to recover, then they will fall deeper into the redneck lifestyle.. more severe lifestyle changes include buying a pickup truck, buying a diesel pickup, talking about pickup trucks, and buying their first pair of cowboy boots. Also includes raving about coors beer.

Stage 4: The person has made full transformation to a redneck, at least in some capacity. They will always love the life in the country, and the taste of coors beer on a friday night. Texas roadhouse is a first choice forever.

Johnnys girlfriend broke up with him and now he likes zach bryan and says y’all a lot? Must be in stage 2 late onset redneck syndrome. .

by lefpudeler December 10, 2023

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