New Egypt

i have NEVER in my life been to a worse town. I have lived here all my life and have hated it more than anything. all the kids here wish they lived in Texas or Alabama so they could really be a redneck hillbilly, there is constantly being rumors spread around about how someones fucking someone else and the bathrooms reek of someones vape or cart. this town is filled with racist, homophobic (closeted) boys and girls and the school system sucks and has only gone downhill since covid. we are millions of dollars in debt and everyone and their grandma loves to complain about the kids riding on dirtbikes past their house with their ring camera photos on the new egypt happenings facebook. they had to implement a rule where you couldn't have a confederate flag on the back of your truck while driving because of how much it was happening. you have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a genuine friend and if you just moved here people will swarm you and then spread your shit around the school a week later. No one here likes it besides the parents that cope with the fact their perfect little small town is nothing what it looks out to be. we also have a big KKK population. six flags sucks too. the town is being bought out and if you didnt think it could get any worse, it is, and it will. every student who moves here wants to move back after 2 weeks at most.

this town is where rednecks, wannabe hoodlums, and whores come together as one.

new egyptian: "Yeah.. I go to new egypt.."

random: "where the fuck is new egypt?"

new egyptian: "by jackson, six flags.. you know"

random: "oh.. that place"

by helpabruthaout January 16, 2025

evil new hampshire

the webcomic xkcd made a joke map of the united states on december 15, 2023 where it had 64 states. at first glance it looks correct because all the noticeable states (california, texas, florida, michigan, maine, maryland, etc.) are there but when you look closely you realize a bunch of extra look-alike states have been added. most of them are just wyoming and colorado clones in the western part of the country, but one of them is next to new hampshire. people have dubbed it "evil new hampshire."

have you seen the 64 states map by xkcd? it has states like evil new hampshire, central carolina, aren't kansas, and newer mexico.

by connecticut 765 June 16, 2025

Fox News

A bunch of clowns who do nothing but yell at each other

Fox News tends to be a very biased network

by Some Fatass on the Internet June 19, 2025

New Mexican troubadour

Driver gives the passenger a blowjob starting in new Mexico, while passenger holds steering wheel. all while Blasting George strait and seeing if you can make it to Amarillo by morning.

Bro your mom gave me a New Mexican troubadour while you were asleep in the back seat. I didn’t even know she liked George straight.

by Buzzkill89 June 22, 2025

New Guinea Doggy Shake

When a man nuts in a girls hair then puts a dildo on her back(like a tail) and the man fucks the dildo on the girl while the woman is in doggy style. When the guy is about to cum again he stands up and shakes his penis and gets cum everywhere.

Me and my girl preformed the New Guinea Doggy Shake, it was very messy and we are both sore.

by itzmillicent June 26, 2025

Huge news for the homeless population

Generally good information for anyone but specifically for people who are homeless.

“Did you hear the liquor store is now taking food stamps?”
“Huge news for the homeless population.”

by John Slang June 28, 2025

New Mexico Tug

The New Mexico Tug is a sex act where one partner pulls (or tugs) on the other’s penis, stretching it and allowing the partner to begin plucking at the stretched out penis like a guitar string.

I couldn’t get it up last night so we had to do the New Mexico Tug; it hurt like hell.

by Pewbic and Basedyana June 30, 2025