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Christmas Rules

The Christmas Rules sound like they would be a seasonal thing, but no, don't be fooled. The Christmas Rules are to be followed throughout the entire year if one would like to reach peak wisdom and enlightenment. Follow the Christmas Rules, and you will live a fulfilling life full of divine knowledge. The rules are as follows (and none can be taken lightly):

1. Celebrate.

2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.

3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)

4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)

5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)
Person 1: "5 is my lucky number, that's why it's in my username."
Person 2: "Why 5?"

Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.
by fungusfollower69 June 21, 2021
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christmas heid

head is full of Christmas thoughts to the point of not being with it, not in the here and now because too busy thinking what to get Aunt Bessie or deciding what Christmas tablecloth to get for the family dinner
'she was driving like an idiot, clearly got her Christmas heid on'
by mazdoll4 January 13, 2013
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Christmas crunk

The state of being very crunk, on or near Christmas.
She was so Christmas crunk coming home from the ugly sweater party that she crashed her car.
by Tweeples May 25, 2012
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Christmas Krook

A Christmas Krook is someone does not like Christmas !

1. A grumpy person

2. Bad attitude towards Christmas

3. Someone has had a bad experience in their childhood during a year of Christmas that made them hate Christmas as they grew up .

4. A elementary school bully who likes to hurt other kid's feeling by laughing at them and revealing that Santa Clause is not real with public humiliation .
1 . ''Your the mean one , Mr.Grinch ''

2. ''That man is such is such a Krook , why dont someone make a scrooge movie out of him ? ''

3 . ''Oh cheer up , don't be such a Christmas krook and have some Christmas spirit ''

4. '' HHAHAHAAHHAH This kid is such a loser for still thinking that Santa Clause is real ''

''Man that jerk is such a Krook for laughing at that kid just because the kid still is believing Santa Clause ''

''How Mean , What A Krook !!!''
by Steven Griffiths December 3, 2011
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Christmas Asswipe

Toilet paper stained green and red as a result of wiping after taking a green-colored shit while on your period.
"Jan! You need to remember to flush the toilet! I found some of your christmas asswipe in the bowl!"
by Bingo Bongo December 1, 2018
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Christmas Noob

A person who has gotten a gaming console during Christmas and has no idea how to play.
"Are you a Christmas Noob?" "Ready to play with all these Christmas Noobs?"
by iAmNoobGod February 25, 2019
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Jiminy Christmas

Jiminy Christmas that mouth never shuts up.

What about your mouth and what you are doing to my house ?
It fell on the fuckin floor. Jiminy Christmas!
by Maddogg radio April 29, 2022
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