Count Dankula

A god of free speech put on planet earth to offer common sense to a populous of primarily imbeciles.

A man with endless abilities to make negative topics funny whilst maintaining the ability to inform.

"Count Dankula is the only kind of news worth watching"

by Shootin6mill March 15, 2024

on god no crosses count

Middle School logic is that you can lie about stuff on god if you cross your fingers. So they decided to come up with "on god no crosses count"

Middle-Schooler 1: Dude did you tell my crush I like her?!
Middle-Schooler 2: On god no crosses count I didnt!

by Bailedx March 21, 2024

Body count therapy.

Is when you sleep with more people that you can remember to get over a break up.

Them: Hey bro you ever been to Miami?

Me: I've been, I had a great time, but I can't remember the girl I was with. After my break up I needed some body count therapy.

by Vainarrara809 March 28, 2024

its the thought that counts

What you say when you get a gift you don't really like but don't want to hurt the other persons feelings.

Jack - Jill, I got you a gift! *gives said gift*
Jill- Aw how sweet, it’s the thought that count's though

(She doesn't like it, you can tell because she said “its the thought that counts”)

by Boiga6 July 23, 2022

Close only counts in grenades

A saying that pisses me off. It comes from the fact that you don’t need to directly hit something with a grenade to blow it up. If this saying is true then light blue is a completely different color, not just a shade.

1. I was so close to getting an A!
2. Close only counts in grenades.
1. You are an asshole and probably can’t do any better than me.

by AAAAAAIDONTKNOW February 17, 2022

Full Count

When you’re on a date, and it’s not going so well, but you still have a chance to impress.

Last night I had a full count, managed to get on base

by GreyPuppon March 4, 2022