jared vanvleet

A true fuck boy. Normally has a very big head, and a very petite penis. Not to be mistaken for "Jared" Jared VanVleet is a complete douchebag. Also very bad in bed.

You cheated on me, quit being a Jared VanVleet.

by Dictionarywebster June 23, 2016

jared petrilli

A man or young boy with an exceptionally small penis, and too afraid to commit to sexual relationships because of the embarrassment.

My new boyfriend is such a Jared petrilli, he cant even stick it in my vajay jay

by And You Know That June 10, 2016

Jared

a dick who makes you do everything and is socially a 13 year old in a skinny asshole body

You finally broke up with Jared!

by yeudeudkdksksksk December 5, 2019

Jared

Typically white male, probably plays golf or tennis, and follows the outfit formula: T-shirt, shorts, Nike socks with white vans. A “Jared” is most likely an asshole who treats women like shit and says “oh shit my bad”

Person 1: oh my god why does he treat me like this
Person 2: because, he’s a “Jared”

by Solocupgirl December 9, 2019

Jared

Loves master bating to pictures of his classmates also porn

That guy is such a fucking Jared.

by Nigdestroyer69 December 10, 2019

Jared Parks

tall skinny kid with a broken back who acts tougher on text than in person. He will threaten to beat you up on text but will slap you on the cheek and say he beat the shit outta you.

"Stop being a Jared Parks and say that to my face."

by Mark Sanito December 10, 2019

Jared

A nigga who boofs all day and eats beans while running from linda

JARED COME UP STAIRS NOWI SMELL VAPE

by jaredfriesen December 17, 2019