Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
Get the Douche Canoe mug.by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 20, 2025
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Sofia Cano seems really shy but once you get to meet her she is one of the best people you'll meet in your lifetime she is a very kind and sweet person she does not tolerate any kind of meanness especially with her friends. When she's in school and in class with her friends she will be a little crazy and out of her mind but she is truly the kindest and sweetest she will always make sure to include everyone even if she doesn't like she is truly the most beautiful girl with clear skin perfect hair and a nice personality. She truly is the best person you'll meet in your life time and sometimes she will be a little crazy and awkward but she truly is the best friend you'll ever have if you ever meet a sofia cano make sure to never let her go she is truly amazing
by Sabrina1234 May 17, 2023
Get the sofia cano mug.Skin Canoeing is the act of stretching out either a scrotum sack or foreskin into a shape that can hold a liquid, ideally alcoholic, and then wonder around a party offering guests a sip.
Sarah was impressed how Barry had been skin canoeing for so long and been so attentive to all of his guests...
by CreepyRob June 5, 2023
Get the skin canoeing mug.A play on words of "Douche Canoe," which Oxford dictionary states is: an obnoxious or contemptible person (typically used of a man). "Deuce" doubles down on the douchey-ness by multiplying the abhorrent behaviour by the factor of 2.
"This deuce canoe from Facebook Marketplace tried to use children's items to prop up his scammy ad."
"Tucker Carlson could float on any liquid surface because he's such a massive deuce canoe."
"Tucker Carlson could float on any liquid surface because he's such a massive deuce canoe."
by Rebdiculous June 11, 2023
Get the Deuce Canoe mug.Someone, such as a business leader or head of school who makes a drastic change at the last minute that impacts the entire staff and gives 0 fucks about it.
T:"there is a safety issue with the building. What should we do?"
J:"extend the school year at the last minute of course!"
T:"perfect! Morale is low anyway, so fuck'em"
Staff:"wow....what a bunch of douche canoes"
J:"extend the school year at the last minute of course!"
T:"perfect! Morale is low anyway, so fuck'em"
Staff:"wow....what a bunch of douche canoes"
by AlSnow June 12, 2023
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