couch shaman

Person who shows up and gets in cool with people for sounding very wise. He never has any money because he's eschewed all concepts of ownership or slavery to materialism. He will sleep on your couch for as long as you let him, eat your food, drink your booze, bum cigarettes off of everyone, smoke your weed, and probably try to fuck you or your partner, if you're not around, depending on what he's into. In return for all of these things, he will grace you with the endless font of wisdom that pours from his mouth when he's stoned/well-fed/drunk/sexually sated.

Man, I know that couch shaman sounds like a cool guy, but he ate all my chips while I was at work and walked in "accidentally" on my girl in the shower; he's gotta GO.

by Accedendum June 4, 2018

Couch fire

A cluster-fuck of events that spiral out of hand

"Shit Matthew it's like a couch fire!"

by Yeetazoid February 23, 2020

Couch Potato

A lazy person.

1: I'm such a lazy person.

2: Yeah, you are a bit of a couch potato.

by sydney's best friend April 29, 2020

Couch ass

When a girl looks like she’s been sitting on the couch for to long and her ass looks bloated

That girl really has a couch ass. That thing looks bloated

by Nordic42 May 25, 2020

couch cooked

When someone takes amphetamines and makes the mistake of sitting down for too long. They have now become one of the couch and there usually is no return.
The feeling is usually rather bliss but also very annoying to the people they were with who did not get stuck and just wanna get down and boogie

Person 1: Oi lets go dance

Couch cooker: Nah man, just another ciggie plus this couch feels good.

Person 1: Bro, get up or you're going to get couch cooked.

by confusedalien August 4, 2020

couch queen

A couch queen is a person who typically lays rather motionless during sex. See also Starfish. It normally makes for a rather underwhelming sexual experience. But it can be very arousing and stimulating if someone has a particular fetish for this, or for example if they are dominating.

I really was looking forward to having a good time with this person, but they turned out to be such a disappointment, they were a couch queen.

by Xantipe September 1, 2020

couch culture

sick of “it” kids. they are all attractive, talented , ethereal, i want to be them. based on my research the group consists of : Lincoln ferrin, Eli Utley, Owen Maple, Owen Gladwell, Aiden Andrade, Kalei Medeiros, Bryce (y’a girl couldn’t find da last name ) , & Parker Hayford. Couch Culture is a religion. #kissingmoms.

Dude Couch Culture is a religion , and everyone in that group is so attractive.

by ilikehoneybunchesofoats October 19, 2020