grace paul’s deceased dog. Me and grace would jump on her trampoline and yell, “WIENER ALERT” when he would chase us around. he would also run into things because he was very blind.
by ryley<3 December 3, 2021
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I was sitting at the bar having a drink with my friend and he says “Heard Alert”. I turned around to look and my crazy ex-girlfriend was there.
by georgie bear June 19, 2022
Get the Heard Alert mug.When you’ve been in too many toxic relationships, causing your radar to be off. You can’t tell if a new person in your life is going to be crazy or not. You can’t see red flags or problems that this person has. One must reach out to their friends and loved ones and request a nixle alert. If this new person raises a nixle alert, run. Nixles are not good, nixle alerts save lives.
You: Yo man I met this girl the other night. She has a neck tattoo and would not stop talking about her ex! Is she nixle?
Friend: Full blown nixle alert! Bro you gotta get out of there! Lose her number!
Friend: Full blown nixle alert! Bro you gotta get out of there! Lose her number!
by Dafunk June 20, 2022
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1. A localized emergency notification issued when an elderly bald man is spotted wandering within a one-mile radius of a medical facility, usually post-colonoscopy, squinting through crooked glasses and moving at a cautious, arthritic shuffle.
2. A hyper-specific Silver Alert for a founding member of a friend group who refuses to admit his knees sound like microwave popcorn and who insists he “just needs better lighting” before every pinball game.
Symptoms may include:
• Slow, determined walk back to a parked vehicle because “it’s not that far.”
• Adjusting glasses 47 times per minute.
• Muttering about flipper lag while standing under the brightest light in the building.
• Claiming recovery is “no big deal” while gripping the handrail like it owes him money.
1. A localized emergency notification issued when an elderly bald man is spotted wandering within a one-mile radius of a medical facility, usually post-colonoscopy, squinting through crooked glasses and moving at a cautious, arthritic shuffle.
2. A hyper-specific Silver Alert for a founding member of a friend group who refuses to admit his knees sound like microwave popcorn and who insists he “just needs better lighting” before every pinball game.
Symptoms may include:
• Slow, determined walk back to a parked vehicle because “it’s not that far.”
• Adjusting glasses 47 times per minute.
• Muttering about flipper lag while standing under the brightest light in the building.
• Claiming recovery is “no big deal” while gripping the handrail like it owes him money.
“Greg just had a colonoscopy and is walking home with those bad knees. Somebody issue a Bald Alert before he tries to read street signs in the dark.”
by GuidoDaPimp February 24, 2026
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