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Damn cage

Part 3 coming in hot.

God "SNAAAKE!"

Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! 😨 Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"

God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"

Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "You know, I knew you would do it but I was really hoping I'd be wrong. This... This is... I mean look at Adam... He's terrified. He doesn't know what's going on."

Adam 🫣

Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"

God "Don't say it!"

Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"

God 😞

Snake 😨 "What's going on here? What is this place?"

God "Just leave..."

Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"

God "LEAVE!" 🤬

Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" 🚶🤨 "What the hell?" 🤨 "Why... Can't I leave?"🤨

God "You can..." 😒

Snake 😨 "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."

God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." 😔

Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
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Brain cage

I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.

Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"

God "Okie dokie."

Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"

God "Sounds fun."

Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*

Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."

*Later in the forest*

Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."

Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"

Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."

Cain "You're not a snake tho-"

Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈

Cain "A cube?"

Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."

Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*

Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*

Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁

God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"

Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"

God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."

Abel "AAAYY!!"

Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"

God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"

Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*

God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"

Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"

God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳

Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"

God 😮 💨

Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."

God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023
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This cage

Yup after aaaaall of that there is a cage thing today.
God "Lucifer... I need a favor..."

Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... 😌 It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... 😮 💨 Now... What do you want?" 😑

God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."

Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"

God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"

Lucifer "They don't live that long-"

God "He's... He's pretty old."

Lucifer 🤦 ♂️ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"

God 🤨 "Time?"

Lucifer 🤨 "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"

God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." 😁

Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"

God "Are you going to take the message or not?"

Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."

God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."

Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"

God "And take Michael with you."

Michael "Hello." 😇

Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
by Hym Iam February 23, 2023
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Getting Caged

Getting the shit beat out of you by Johnny cage, International Love is normally played in the background while he shatters all of your ribs
Johnny cage is beating the shit out of me, I am getting caged!
by gyratinglefteyebrow October 15, 2023
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cage the gingers

a derogatory remark which is commonly used against those with ginger hair colouring
i think we should cage the gingers!!”
by vampirickisses November 18, 2023
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Schrödinger's Cage

Schrödinger's Cage: The act of subjugating oneself to solitare and study whilst their colleagues and friends enjoy merriments. The individual then proceeds to waste their time ultimately coming to the conclusion that sed time could have been used enjoying such merriments. Schrödinger's Cage provides an allegory into the mentality of its victims as the act of trapping oneself into a metaphorical cage.
He didn't come to the hangout because he had too much work to do, but he didn't do any of his work anyway and just procrastinated. He is doing the Schrödinger's Cage!
by Rataray February 3, 2024
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Schrödinger's Cage

Schrödinger's Cage: The act of subjugating oneself to solitare and study whilst their colleagues and friends enjoy merriments. The individual then proceeds to waste their time ultimately coming to the conclusion that sed time could have been used enjoying such merriments. Schrödinger Cage provides a double entendre acting as the name of the man it was intended to reflect upon and providing an allegory into the mentality of its victims as the act of trapping oneself into a metaphorical cage.
He didn't come to the hangout because he had too much work to do, but he didn't do any of his work anyway and just procrastinated. He is doing the Schrödinger's Cage!
by Rataray February 3, 2024
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