Alonso-Schumacher Theory

The Alonso-Schumacher Theory is the theory that if a person, often in a formal or casual competition, has something or someone they truly care about, they are, on average, less likely to take risks even if might really benefit them.

Based on a quote attributed to Formula One driver Fernando Alonso that talked about his fellow competitor Michael Schumacher at the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix ("I knew he'd brake, he has a wife and two kids at home"), the theory is named after them.

"Y'know, Rhys's lap times could really be improved by half a second... it's like he's unwilling to go 100%."
"It's probably because he just got engaged, he can't leave his future wife."
"Ah, the Alonso-Schumacher theory in action, never gets old"

by TheManFromOsaka January 12, 2026

Alonso

Is goated and likes to suck cocktail. When hanging around bois he gets attracted to them and flirts with them. Can take a dick up his ass like a man.

Alonso you are fruity daddy

by Alonso daddy November 23, 2021

Alonso

A short form of saying Fernando Alonso. (the best F1 driver of all time)

"oh yeah Alonso is the GOAT of F1, undisputably"

by Cardigaso June 15, 2024

Alonso Romero

Alonso Romero is an amazing guy with curly hair he is sweet, handsome, not full of himself , FUN to talk to and most importantly a good guy. He’s one of those quiet BUT noticeable guys. You see him at the most random times AND love it. If Alonso Romero compliments you you’ll think about it for the week.He’s tall and has beautiful eyes. He has an amazing style that NO ONE can compare to. he’s a nonchalant match king

“THATS ALONSO ROMERO” *waves*

by notanomnous March 28, 2025

Fernando Alonso

The best rookie on the grid.

Fernando Alonso is carrying Aston Martin. Couldn’t expect anything less from the best rookie.

by marss_barr May 29, 2024

Alonso

A sub. Alonso is that one guy who can easily become your personal sub because he is such a simp. But he's also really adorable and you are lucky to know him. He resembles a ginger cat because he is sometimes extremely crazy and out of pocket but it's so worth it to see that side of him. He is currently unavailable as he is my sub. So find another sub. Byebye.

Alonso, what did I say about imploding on people?!
You're such a subway sandwich, Alonso.

by kjdsahfdjs September 5, 2022