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Absolute Unit

Thick, Meat head, one that only thinks about their “unit”. Socially inept. No other thought can get past their “unit”.
That creepy douche was an absolute unit.
by chuckeltard September 9, 2020
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Absolutely not

Means she 100% likes the man bun
Me: “I know you like the man bun.”
Her: “Absolutely not.”
by Idevenknowyet September 12, 2020
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Absolutely Not

She 100% likes the man bun
Me: “ do you like the man bun
Her: “absolutely not”
by Idevenknowyet September 12, 2020
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absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting
Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.
by YoyoMaFam July 26, 2022
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Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.
"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."
by Robbie Carton Comedian July 28, 2022
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Absolute Bombo

An extremely unpleasant situation that calls for an immediate resolution
The test we wrote yesterday was absolute bombo or it was A.B
by Awisi Pussy June 13, 2022
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ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.
That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.
by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022
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