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Murphy's Law of Garage Sales

"The desirability of and/or your need for an item at a garage sale will be in direct inverse proportion to the likelihood of your actually being able to purchase it."
The four most common/infuriating occasions when Murphy's Law of Garage Sales holds true:
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
by QuacksO August 1, 2018
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Garage floor monster

The invisible monster that lives in your garage, usually under the car, that eats dropped screws, sockets, irreplaceable hardware, valvelocks, etc when dropped on the floor and not located immediately. 10mm sockets in particular are a delicacy.
Damn it, I just dropped my last 10mm socket. I better find it before the garage floor monster gets it.
by anonymous February 25, 2023
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drive your car into my garage

So, drive your car into my garage means slide that throbbing cock into my hot, wet love tunnel (vagina).
I’m so horny and I need you to drive your car into my garage, otherwise, I will burst. NOW! Peddle to the metal!
by Purplenado March 7, 2023
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Garage therapist

You know, people complain about the "dating crisis" and "population collapse" but no on ever thinks to attribute it to the rise of internet "garage therapists" who perpetually double down on their own made up and sophistical propositional ethics. OH WAIT! I forgot! The trough-line between all internet garage therapists! The inverse correlation between "blame" and "fault". See, what they've done is framed the situation in a way such that if someone is blaming you... THEY are wrong to balme you. By default. And people do it everywhere. You can see it in cooperative gaming. If you blame the worst player for their disproportionately negative role in the collective lose, theh will use the fact that you blame them to denying themselves culpability in their own failure. And it's the same thing garage therapists do. Rather then acknowledge when their ethos FAILS, taking responsibility for what they are putting out into the world, and (God forbid) acknowledge their own culpability, they need to deny themselves any liability. It's liability mitigation so no one can come back to them and say "I did what you said and it didn't work. My life became a falsehood where I was called on to deny the reality around me and call it improvement." I mean, what percentage of the time does their advice work?
Irrelevant. As long as it works for enough people for them to sustain themselves (even if it's only 10%) it doesn't matter to them. They bare no responsibility for their own ethos while feinting to be the moral arbiters of the ethos of others while making it a facet of their ethos to hold the failures of other ethical systems "accountable".

Hym "See, 'cuckberry41' tells people to cut others out of their lives for doing *this* and to do *that* but 'my 5-head is smaller than my cock' is telling people to cut others out of thier lives for doing *that* and telling them to do *this*. That's what cult leaders do! Cult leader garage therapists who deny themselves culpability in the effect they have on the people who accept their propositions while using their followers as evidence of their own superiority. And then they turn around and post videos about the dating crisis and loneliness being at an all time high fewer people dating than ever before or even having friends. You see? I'm doing what you said because why should my mother (and everyone for that matter) not live in accordance with 'cuckberry41's' whim? He has a study that shows the corollary association between things and like a cult leader needs me to leave my wife and give him 5 dollars."
by Hym Iam March 11, 2023
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“Garage sale at 1223”

Dan went to a “garage sale at 1223” and got herpes.
by anonymous March 13, 2023
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Garage lettuce

I had an ice cold bowl of garage lettuce just now.
by Jaker17 January 20, 2023
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Air Garage

The part of the body where gas builds up, but hasn't yet travelled far enough to be expelled from the asshole.
"Damn bruh, I'm tryna focus on this conversation but I can't 'cause my air garage is full."
by sheloves96 January 31, 2023
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