Top-Rated Schlong

Term used to describe one who has mastered the sex.

It’s a shame you don’t want to date anymore because you were one of my top-rated schlongs.

by CulverCityToast December 9, 2018

Hairy schlong

Aka hairy penis

U say to your mom u have a hairy schlong

by eli360098 June 12, 2018

Alan David Schlong

1980s radio reporter who covered baseball for unhead station in New Jersey. Giant microphone reminiscent of horse's dick.

Oh, no, here comes Alan David Schlong with that giant microphone, what a schmutz.

by tirtle July 9, 2018

Schlong

Code word for dick

sakayt whipped out his SCHLONG

by DiccHole January 28, 2019

Russian Schlong Whipping

when your uncle comes over for his weekly visit from Russia, as soon as he enters the door, you must pull down your pants and pledge you allegiance to his whip. Proceed to let him whip your balls and until it splits open and your kidney beans fall out. Cook them on a Bunsen burner for him and serve to him with a side of mustard and mayo.

Can't wait until my uncle comes. He's gonna give me the best Russian schlong whipping of my life

by Shaedy September 20, 2018

Russian Schlong Whipping

When your uncle comes over from his weekly visit from Russia, you must bend over and pledge alliegence to his whip. Bend over and let him whip your ballsack until it rips open and your kidney beans fall out. Proceed to cut off the strings and cook them on a Bunsen burner and serve with a side of mayonnaise and brown mustard. Cut off our Weiner and put in a hot dog bun. Serve with the blood of your enemies. Sit naked on a spiked chair and watch him majestically eat them. Have Fun!

Can't wait until my uncle domes over from Russia and gives me the best Russian Schlong Whipping of my life!

by Shaedy September 20, 2018

Schlong

An absolute beast in the bed, the longest of male genitalia, the subway sandwich that you always get. The schlong is a massive cock that all the ladies want, they will die for a one-nighter with this 7-footer. They get horny just thinking about this long, sometimes black, schlong. If you want to experience a schlong for yourself, you want to aim for the darker human males, they are born with the BBC, sometimes measuring in the double digits. As a wise man once told me: "Blacker is bigger.", and he sure was right. The gods of the schlong usually have a lower intellect, and most of the time have the following names: Chad, Dequavious, Tyrone, and Jacob.

Joseph: Holy shit Tyrone, you got a monster in there!
Tyrone: Yeah, I do nigga. Eat this schlong right now.

by Toasted Toebeans November 4, 2022