Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"

Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*

No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!

And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023

Take a bubble

To steal drugs

Did they take a bubble?
Who took my bubble?
I'd kill for more of that bubble!

by E myG December 1, 2023

Take your corgis elsewhere

Please leave it alone the world doesn't revolve around you, its time to listen to some Ariana Grande.

life doesnt revolve around you can you take your corgis elsewhere

by alwaystrusty December 2, 2023

A sick thing to take pleasure in

Yeah, ok, so you are watching. Great. That isn't what I said. That isn't how I felt about it fuck-face.

Hym "I mean according to swole neurologist it's not a sick thing to take pleasure in about a wildly traumatic childhood even with a stress response 10 times higher than that of someone who was actually involved you shit. Did you talk to you Q-Anon friends and family? Did you apologize for being a smug neurotic shit? No?"

by Hym Iam December 7, 2023

Take care of the dogs

Masterbating

I have to go home to take care of the dogs.

by KYAugustJones December 16, 2023

Take it like the red cross

A street phrase meaning if you want my money/drugs/property, you're going to have to fight/kill me to get it.

Would be robber: Give me your money!

Not a victim: Take it like the red cross.

by Rdy2dstry December 17, 2023

Feels Like I Just Can’t Take No More

It's like my insides have cut out again
Tongue-tied, I live life, but just don't fit in
So I

Guess I should tell you now
Guess I can play it down
Don't you watch the latest telly?
Guess I can burn you down
Guess I can tell you now
That I am less than ordinary
Didn't every word I say come true? (True, true, true)
Funny how you thought it seemed it's you (You, you, you)
Looking back it kind of threw me too (Too, too, too)
How 'bout you?

Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels like I just can't take no more
Honestly I hit the floor

I said too much but I'd say it again
Words do collide when the motives are thin

I guess I could mend a cut
Guess I should keep it shut
Guess I've had that one too many
Guess I could write it down
Guess I could shout it out
There's a twist in every story
Didn't every word I say come true? (True, true, true)
Funny how you thought it seemed it's you (You, you, you)
Looking back it kind of threw me too (Too, too, too)
How 'bout you?

Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels like I just can't take no more
Honestly I hit the floor
Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels Like I Just Can’t Take No More
Honestly I hit the floor

by Gothic Miscreant December 19, 2023