Twilight hair

When the hair on the front of the victim's head is more or less perpendicular to the ground while trying, with the rest of the hair, to achieve a believable swirlyness/swishyness in order to appear "naturally" Edwardian. Needless to say the effect is invariably embarrassing for witnesses and should be mortifying for the victim as well--however, it has been found that accompanying the "Twilight hair" are severe hallucinations (visual, auditory, command, olfactory and tactile (both rare), and general somatic sensations). These are believed to be brought on by the use of excessive (even dangerous) amounts of hair products. A case of "Twilight hair" that has not advanced past the first stage can usually be cured with a normal mirror, using a second mirror to show the victim the rest of his hair if necessary. The second stage requires vigorous washing of the hair and then forty-eight hours of isolation and close observation. The third stage is much worse. The victim by this time must be fully restrained and, after the hair has been scoured clean, he must be shaved. After four months he may be allowed to grow his hair past an eighth of an inch. Regression indicates permanent damage and the victim should be institutionalized, or, more humanely, gutshot.

The predecessor of "Twilight hair" was Cameron Diaz's temporary hairstyle in "Something About Mary".

by hippie.goth September 18, 2011

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Werewolf Hair

Hair that grows on your ears, eyebrows and outside your normal mustache and/or beard/goatee.

“Have you started shaving?”
“No, just finished shaving my werewolf hair..”

by Blueknighter January 15, 2023

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Fabulous Hair Problems (FHP)

Fabulous Hair Problems (FHP)

The Lizzo-like ownership of your hair

When your hair is too damn thick, voluminous, shiny and beautiful.

Damn girl, you have FHP. Me toooo!

What’s that?

Fabulous Hair Problems (FHP) Duh!

by epiwonk January 27, 2023

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