Divine Sociology

The specific study of group behavior among gods, angels, saints, and other celestial beings. It analyzes why deities tend to travel in packs (pantheons), why they're so obsessed with being worshipped (it's a group ego thing), and why there's always that one grumpy god of the underworld who never gets invited to the celestial parties. Divine sociology suggests that even in heaven, there are cliques, and the being in charge of answering prayers is perpetually overwhelmed and understaffed.

Example: "According to divine sociology, the reason prayers sometimes go unanswered isn't malice, but bureaucracy. The angel in charge of your petition probably put it in the wrong pile, or it's stuck under a stack of more urgent requests from people who are, statistically, in more immediate danger. Your promotion just isn't a priority for the celestial HR department."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Divine Philosophy

The ultimate branch of metaphysical inquiry that asks questions like: If God is all-powerful, can They create a burrito so hot that even They cannot eat it? It's the field that has spent millennia debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and whether that dance constitutes a divine rave. Divine philosophy doesn't just ask about the existence of God; it asks about God's hobbies, God's favorite color, and whether God gets lonely. It's the art of asking questions to which the only honest answer is a shrug from the universe.

Example: "Stuck in traffic, he turned to divine philosophy. 'If God is everywhere,' he thought, 'is God also in this traffic jam? Is God as annoyed as I am? And if God is all-powerful, why doesn't God just create a divine HOV lane?' He then realized he'd been sitting through three green lights while philosophizing and got honked at."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026