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Built like an accident report

(phrase)
Used to roast someone whose body, face, or general vibe looks like a catalog of unfortunate events. Suggests a person is so clumsily assembled or physically chaotic that their entire existence feels like the aftermath of a multi-car pileup, a bio-mechanical malfunction, or some kind of cosmic whoopsie.

It’s not just ugly — it’s structurally confusing, like something went wrong and no one ever fixed it.
“She not ugly, but she built like an accident report — multiple points of failure.”
• “Why his knees face outward like that? Bro built like an accident report.”
• “Face giving ‘incident occurred at approximately 4:17PM.’”
• “That fit plus that walk? Yeah, that’s an OSHA violation. Built like an accident report.”
by Urban zai June 10, 2025
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report

To describe an event.
Her first orphanage was like a vacation, they were nice to her, but her third orphanage was the one that made her fight another girl to the death for a pair of new shoes, then acted like it never happened when she went back to ask them why they did that. That wasn't the only thing to report about, that was just one of many things that went on there.
by The Original Agahnim December 2, 2021
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report

To describe an event/incident.
They made her do horrible, unspeakable things at the last orphanage, things that nobody could report.
by The Original Agahnim December 3, 2021
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False reports

Player 1: how do u play this game
Me: bro it’s that obvious ima report u
Player 2: u can’t report someone for not knowing how to play

Me: I don’t care
player 3: hey stop doing false reports
by JDMF February 11, 2024
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