by The Nice Lunch Lady March 2, 2024
Get the WIS mug.For Better or For Wi-Fi (vow, modern edition)
1. The sacred marital promise to remain faithful through sickness, health, and unstable internet connections.
2. A 21st-century covenant meaning: “I will love you unconditionally… unless you reset the router without warning.”
3. The true test of compatibility—when buffering circles appear and neither of you panics or blames the other.
4. A solemn agreement that no matter how heated the argument gets, someone will still know the Netflix password.
Modern Translation:
“For richer or poorer” → “Shared Amazon Prime.”
“In sickness and in health” → “Muted on Zoom but still arguing.”
“Till death do us part” → “Or until the Wi-Fi drops during the season finale.”
1. The sacred marital promise to remain faithful through sickness, health, and unstable internet connections.
2. A 21st-century covenant meaning: “I will love you unconditionally… unless you reset the router without warning.”
3. The true test of compatibility—when buffering circles appear and neither of you panics or blames the other.
4. A solemn agreement that no matter how heated the argument gets, someone will still know the Netflix password.
Modern Translation:
“For richer or poorer” → “Shared Amazon Prime.”
“In sickness and in health” → “Muted on Zoom but still arguing.”
“Till death do us part” → “Or until the Wi-Fi drops during the season finale.”
Example:
Spouse 1: “The internet’s down.”
Spouse 2: “Did you pay the bill?”
Spouse 1: “I thought you did.”
Marriage Counselor: “And this is where ‘for better or for Wi-Fi’ really begins.”
Spouse 1: “The internet’s down.”
Spouse 2: “Did you pay the bill?”
Spouse 1: “I thought you did.”
Marriage Counselor: “And this is where ‘for better or for Wi-Fi’ really begins.”
by Rump_Supporter_47 February 21, 2026
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