certified dead

Used in a context where the person is 100% out of lifes breath and not able to function as a living human being.

Also used as slay, with "slay boots the house down houston i'm diseased OR: certified dead"

Wow she got hit by a car! But she did it in style. Slay boots the house down, houston she's certified dead.

by piet pieraat February 6, 2024

certified ass clapper

a certified ass clapper is when you enjoy any subject that makes you exclaim that is a certified ass clapper

yo terry did you watch that movie last night. yeah its a certified ass clapper

by bigcunt46 December 2, 2023

certified ass clapper

When you like something so much you just cant contain your energy in any other sentence.

That game i just played is a certified ass clapper

by anonymous December 2, 2023

certified squid

A certified loser

Shut up you certified squid.

by anonymous December 7, 2023

Certified Waffler

A certified waffler is someone who waffles so much that they could practically have a degree in it.

Waffling is just basically someone who is just constantly yapping about random shit thats irrelevant.

Girl: Tells a long pointless and irrelevant story : "...So that is why I didnt reply to any of your texts for the past week!"

Guy: "Naaahhh ur just waffling now... certified waffler!"

by SommerRayyy December 11, 2023

Certified pre-owned child

A certified pre-owned child is a step child

Person a: Hey, I didn't know you had kids?
Person b: Hey

Yeah, this is my certified pre-owned child from my new marriage

by Mama trance July 20, 2023

Certified CK

Certified Cervix Killer

Having a dick large enough to reach back bruise a cervix.

Mannnnn Becka that guy Gavin that fucked me last night was a Certified CK 😫

by Sketchster August 5, 2023