tight as a nuns bum

This saying relates to the Sound of Music . In a deleted scene Baron Von Trapp finds away around Julie Andrews vowels as a nun leaving her front bum pure.

This jam jar won't open, it was as tight as a nuns bum.

by Smalley 2 Shits November 16, 2016

Pokey bum wank

To insert ones finger in and out of the anus whilst masterbating ones penis with the other hand (speed and deph of finger is upto pbw,sters preference)

Tom:have you heard about something called a pokey bum wank its all the rage ooop north any idea what it involves
Rich: yes its the act of slipping a appendage or inanimate object up ones anus whilst wanking the penis with the other hand

I was doing a prison sentence a normal wank just wasnt doing it for me after 6 months of repetitive standard wanking so I was looking to spice things upby using a finger or 2 after 3 months fingers became boring so I started a long trawl of finding inanimate objects to insert and rating them out of ten is my final ambition to write up a pbw guide of best objects to use for a pbw with a ratings scale of shitty fingers so electric toothbrush 9 and a half shitty fingers out of ten

by Jack Mehoff jizz mater general November 20, 2016

Bum ass boyfriend

That one guy that you love/used to love who is completely worthless and ugly; yet you still talk about him with the homies even when you know you need to let it go.

Girl: shit y'all know he's fucking Samantha now?
Girl's friend: shiiii girl you're still talking about your bum ass boyfriend? Stop that shit!!!!!

Girl: girl I know... You right !! I fucking hate that muufuu

by Yahfromhell October 4, 2019

Bare bum the bandit

Naked (Northern English Saying

I'm not going bare bum the bandit. Your always bare bum the bandit

by Tkovacs November 2, 2020

squeekey bum time

very squeekey fart

its squeekey bum time

by harry bumington November 24, 2017

your son a bum

A countermeasure to the heavy insult ‘your grandpap a trap’. Very illegal insult may only be used by the highest ranking roadmen, high stature politicians and royalty. However few known individuals with no respect throughout the community have used this clapback and came off a free man.

(Nonce A is getting loud)

Nonce B: your son a bum
Nonce A: ok, you’re fucked, cya in another life

by Nova da lad May 12, 2018

Pokey bum wank

An act of masturbation where you put your legs over your head and poke yourself in the bum

I was going to have a pokey bum wank today but I'm going to Spencer's house

by Pls1234 February 3, 2017