50 shades of jesus

A sex story between Jesus and his followers made by a sinning fuck face. and who also wants to piss of his/her parents because they are christian.

Hey did you read the sequel of 50 shades of Jesus? "50 more shades of jesus"

by Blue_Amore June 8, 2018

Jesus would be an army

The Fandom of the boy group BTS is called ARMY. Some armys made up the phrase "Jesus would be an army", because that's a fact.

Jesus would be an army. PERIODT.

by KIMCHIENTERTAINMENT June 19, 2020

jesus antonio martinez

Greatest man you can ever meet.Strongest man you can ever meet. Always picks the right girlfriend and a girl who has him is the luckiest girl in the world.

Jesus Antonio Martinez is awesome he is a pro at basketball he is so great maybe the greatest person i ever met and has a beautiful girlfriend she is so lucky to have him he is dreamy and really strong .

by green gazes May 10, 2018

jesus jerk off

After finishing nonutnovember and glancing at the picture of Jesus being crucified you immediately cream your jimmies. Such an event happens ounce every blue moon and is usually followed by an isis beheading.

Damn bro I had a jesus jerk off last night I was cleaning it up for hours.

by Overitus_Manhadalitus February 5, 2018

House hunting with Jesus

A near death experience where you are so close to death that you are picking out your final eternal home with your metaphorical savior.

It took the paramedics forever to get Jake back. Guy was house hunting with Jesus for a 20 solid minutes.

by Kungfu Panda Express December 10, 2020

Drowning In The Blood Of Jesus

A term for when someone’s past catches up with them.
The blood of Christ in this interpretation represents sin and his body, a clean sinless body. Meaning when you drown in his blood you’re being consumed by sin.

Guy one: Ah naw remember Tony? That shit finally caught up with him

Guy two: drowning in the blood of Jesus, god bless him

by Toasted Tony November 17, 2021

Jesus Christ on a crutch!

Simply means, "O fuck!" or, "O shit!".

Jesus Christ on a crutch! you shouldn't have done that.

by Telephony2 June 29, 2023