Lawson's clause

Lawson's clause is a modern adaptation to the traditionally established rule of dating (see "Half your age plus seven") regarding the socially acceptable age difference between couples in a relationship. Lawson's clause stipulates that, when there is an exorbitant amount of money or net worth involved with one of the parties, then the resulting age determined by the established formula is then modified. The resulting acceptable age will be multiplied by zero, and 18 will then added.
For example: a 48 year-old man can date a 31 year-old woman without social scrutiny (48/2=24+7=31). However, if the man is stinking rich, we then divide answer by zero, and add 18 (31x0=0+18=18). Thus, a very wealthy 48 year-old man can date an 18 year-old woman without scrutiny. This works both ways as well, male or female (see Demi Moore).

Q: Bill Belichick is dating a 24 year old? He's like 72... isn't that inappropriate?
A: But he's so stinking rich! Lawson's clause grants him an exemption.

by Muslim Goat February 21, 2025

Poes-clause

He that choofs is a little bitch and forfeits any rights as a result.

I invoke the poes-clause. You automatically lose this argument.

by Anoobis.the.first February 25, 2025

TFB Clause

"Too Fucking Bad" Clause. You use it when you are trying to do good but the person getting the good dont want it but you will not take "no" for an answer.

I dont want a prenup.
but I dont need your money i have my own.
Well I will enact the TFB Clause so Too Fucking Bad

by StruggleFeast June 26, 2024

The Mockingbird Clause

Grants anyone the ability to use the n-word as long as the person saying it was quoting a sentence which uses the n-word. Based on the book "To Kill a Mockingbird" in which the n-word would be quoted by any student reading the book to the class and not necessarily used in a hateful manner. This also applies to singing songs.

Student: Teacher! He said a bad word!

Teacher: He was just reading the book, why would I punish him? The Mockingbird Clause absolves him of any wrongdoing.

by Rob98000 July 8, 2024

Legal exemption clause

If you are having court cases about this you are in violation of the legal exemption clause. I don't care if the judge has to bring it to me themselves. All of it. At once. Immediately.

Hym "YOU agreed to the terms of service. It's time for you to pay up. There is no court filing that need to happen here. And doing so is a violation of the legal exemption clause. You have taken way too long and I am starting to consider abusing it."

by Hym Iam April 14, 2025

Exemption From Law Clause

Guys, you really gotta read those terms of service.

Hym "The explicit intent of the exemption from law clause is to prevent you from using false allegations and civil suits to anything that would be considered 'UN-PAYING' me. Whatever happens in response to your failure to adequately credit or pay me with resume until the circumstance that you do anything that could be considered 'UN-PAYING' me. That's what it's for."

by Hym Iam April 18, 2025

Bodily harm clause

You'll end up killing your own son.

Hym "You really gotta read those. Maiming, castrating, lobotmizing, causing brain damage, poisoning (upto and including STDs), dismembering, killing constitutes a violation of the bodily harm clause. Leveraging my life OR the lives of my families to get me to use it in accordance with your will violates the leverage clause. It's almost like you read the terms of service and now you're suggesting it on purpose! Or I'm just a really good guesser. But yeah. That's why it's there. I thought of everything and anything I DIDN'T think of is cover by the 'imaginary caveat clause.' There is no out for you. Legal or otherwise. You need to stop puffing these idiots up. This is all just kabuki for you. Either hurry up and kill us all or hurry up and treat my ailment already. Damn."

by Hym Iam May 5, 2025