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turd burglar

Someone you accuse of stealing your shit.
"Hey, do you have my lighter?"
"Oh yeah here it is...(pocket)"
"You turd burglar!"
"What the heck is a turd burglar?"
"Someone who keeps stealing my shit!"
by DD303 August 9, 2016
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Turd Burglar

When you finish shitting and go to wash your hands, and then turn back around to flush, only to find that your turd has been stolen, leaving only skids and turd covered fingerprints
Recently I’ve had a number of shits disappearing, I think we have a turd burglar on our hands
by J Bag/ Dirty Jamo February 25, 2020
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smash burglar

someone who steals the girl away from someone else; cock blocker
i was gonna bang this drunk chick, but my roomate jumped in and took her! he's such a smash burglar!
by zilla411 March 9, 2011
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Burglar Wank

Pleasuring yourself to climax whilst your partner lays asleep next to you in bed (in the dark)
You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate
by aljazmin November 12, 2021
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Jerk-Burglar

Someone that faps you while you are sleeping with no regard for your consent!
A shady Jerk-burglar, burgled my penis in the night my dear, I'm afraid I can be of no service to you this morn! Pray for me!
My dear friend, you are a jerk burglar as I have caught you on film, but I forgive you! For ye are my All-Fren!
by Bishnuu October 11, 2022
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Turd burglar

A thief that prowls the night looking for its next victims turd to take home to his or her fellow loved turglars, they do not care if it is a man, woman, child or armadillo their turd will be taken.
by Turglar December 6, 2020
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Turd Burglar

A person who slings turds. A god amongst men. A danger to society. If you are called this you are feared. A villain of sorts. Beware of anyone with the nickname turd burglar. I’m afraid to write this meaning. They may seek me out and wreak hellfire upon me. The power these men wield is dangerous. Be scared and fear the turd burglar.
Look at that guy, he’s a turd burglar. I would be scared of that god amongst men.”
by The second cumming of Jesus December 19, 2020
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