turtle

one who is slow but very resistant to attacks.

That lineman can really turtle-up for his quarterback

by dashingdog292 June 23, 2017

dick turtle

When it's cold outside and your dick becomes very small, like a turtle retracting its head when there's danger outside.
Used as a verb

"Damn! When I took a plunge in that pool and came out, my dick turtled on me and scared the shit outta me!"
"Thank god there were no women to witness it!"

by F-Bomb Thiru July 1, 2017

Pinch a turtle

To take a lump of excrement

- "Hey Jeff, wanna get some burgers?"
- "Sure, just let me go pinch a turtle before"
- "you're grose bro"

by turd_muffin November 10, 2017

Two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise unknown to each other hook up via a Facebook comment feed and later meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew what I was missing until I has a two dollar turtle sundae.

by Please and thank you November 10, 2017

two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise strangers hook up via a Facebook comment feed and agree to meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew why I was on Facebook until my first two dollar turtle sundae.

by Please and thank you November 10, 2017

Acoustic turtle

A term used to describe someone who is acting acoustic or just plain fucking stupid.

Person 1: “Ignorance is a side effect of anger”
Person 2: “I’m not ignoring u”
Person 1: “You’re such an acoustic turtle”

by Totally not Eric_Bob November 11, 2017

Dead Turtle

A term used to describe someone you know who always loses arguments or someone who acts similar to an acoustic turtle but not as acoustic.

Person 1: “Dude I don’t always lose arguments.”
Person 2: “You lose so many arguments that you’re a dead turtle.”

by Totally not Eric_Bob November 12, 2017