crack turtle

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.

Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."

by thepranxter March 21, 2018

turtle

I human thats stupid and puts his or her shirt over his or her head to look like a turtle tucking its into its shell

'hey look Timmy is turtle ing his shirt again what i fucking idoit"

by HipsterDFilms April 3, 2018

Texas Turtles

Another name for bed bugs.

Don’t you know that hotel is prime territory of Texas Turtles?

by Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov May 23, 2018

Purple turtle

An internet lawyer or someone using law jargon or claiming to have contacted or threatned you with an attorney

Paul is real purple turtle. Said I will receive my subpoena this month.

by Dirty Chaos December 12, 2017

helpless turtle

When your girl decides to be dominant as fuck and she sits on you while you're on your back so you can't get up

Bro I got fucking helpless turtled last night

by Luxemo January 5, 2018

Turtling

When you have to poop really bad and you feel it oozing out your ass

Hey man brb I think I'm turtling

by Cupacorn September 13, 2017

turtle up

When a pregnant woman falls on her and can not get up.

Dude, did you see that pregnant lady fall? she went turtle up!!!

by bbyeater October 11, 2017