Wooden the Day

Wooden the Day means having a good morning after a bad night, often a sleepless night due to alcohol consumption but parenting is also a common cause.
Woodening the day is often active, so a person strives to wooden their day by choosing to partake in positive experiences which will require little concentration and mental effort.

"The toddler wouldn't stop crying but we woodened the day with a mimosa brunch."
"Honey, can you get me an Advil? It would totally wooden the day."
"After you clean up we can head back to Barnie's. That should wooden your day."

by ShyAaaaaaaaa November 24, 2021

wooden girl

A girl you adore and love very much, but that love is unrequited and she does not feel the same. This definition stems from 2 songs called wooden girl: one by jonatan leandoer96 and one by pino placentile. Both songs describe women they loved that did not love them same way.

“I gave her all the kisses that I could, but it only seemed you were made of wood” lyrics to wooden girl by pino placentile
“He is afraid that the girl might not love him for what he is, instead for what he has.” - meaning of wooden girl by jonatan leandoer96 according to genius.com

by Asthmaurmom March 19, 2023

whittling a wooden dick

to spend large amounts of time by yourself doing questionable ( homosexual) things.

Anybody seen Dale? He's probably in his shed whittling a wooden dick. A secret h-mo? You don't say.

by Jim Ridge March 21, 2023

whittling a wooden dick

to spend large amounts of time by yourself doing questionable ( homosexual) things.

Anybody seen Dale? He's probably in his shed whittling a wooden dick. A secret h-mo? You don't say.

by Jim Ridge March 21, 2023

Big wooden box

A euphemism for a coffin.

He won’t retire until he’s taken out of the place in a big wooden box

by adirudi June 6, 2025

Wooden Plank

The opposite of nimble. Normally this term is used in sports.

Teammate 1: That guy lost the ball as soon as we passed it to him wtf
Teammate 2: Yea don't pass to that wooden plank again

by Radiotrophic Gint April 30, 2024

Wooden Board Warrior

An insufferable person, typically who posts on social media about their whole “unprocessed” foods who can’t go a second without making a video about their raw steak, veggies and honey whilst also making crazy food claims without any evidence or studies.

“These wooden board warriors are acting like anything they put on a board is healthy”

by VLTN May 12, 2024