The Hitler Theorem

The Hitler Theorem is in relation to how a stimulus affects you negatively day by day more than Adolf Hitler does. If something affects you worse than Adolf Hitler, then The Hitler Theorem can prove objectively that the stimulus is worse than Adolf Hitler.

"I'm tired of all this work my teacher is assigning me! It annoys me more than Adolf Hitler does, therefore according to The Hitler Theorem this homework is worse than Adolf Hitler!"

by Theoremist November 22, 2023

The Repeating Idiocy Theorem

The Repeating Theorem discusses how stupid people will repeat the same dumb choices because they're too idiotic to learn from consequences.

"I want to get back with my ex." - (Idiot, probably named Brad)

"YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! YOU'RE AN IDIOT! I MADE THE REPEATING IDIOCY THEOREM TO SHOW HOW YOUR DUMBASS CONTINUSIONLY MAKES THE SAME RETARDED CHOICES!" - Me (Fuck you guy, probably named Brad, you idiot)

by Theoremist November 22, 2023

Reverse Nut Theorem

Harnessing the power of your semen, you erase all evidence from the absolute power-bombing you gave your significant other by cum-bending all of that chunky nut back into your scrotum.

"Bro I can't let my girl know about my cheating but I don't know how??
"No worries man, I just used the Reverse Nut Theorem. It's completely foolproof."

by Dongerlxrd December 4, 2023

Moon Theorem

It states that the angle the moon makes with two stars is at 90° and the stars are at angles 30° and 60° respectively, therefore making it a triangle.

I watched the moon theorem with my love

by That Gee December 20, 2022

Masnick's Impossibility Theorem

"Content moderation at scale is impossible to do well." Named after Mike Masnick of TechDirt, the theorem is that moderating user generated content such as on social media, video services, websites, blogs, etc. and the comment sections therein is inherently difficult to do correctly all the time, and becomes increasingly difficult at large scales. As a result, at large scales sites will increasingly make incorrect moderation decisions.

Facebook's suspension of a prominent journalist's account for posting a news article is an example of Masnick's Impossibility Theorem.

by nmslanon January 4, 2023

Lodge's Incompleteness Theorem

The assertion that no food identification system can be both comprehensive and unambiguous

Lodge's Incompleteness Theorem questions whether a slice of quiche a toast or a taco under the Cube Rule of Food Identification.

by kingwotzit July 19, 2023

Among us theorem

when one scream the loudest in an among us lobby and besides all the evidence, everyone votes for the one accused by the loudest

IT'S PINK IT HAS TO BE
HE KILLED MY GRANDMA
IT HAS TO BE

"the entire lobby proceeds to vote pink out, ignoring all prior evidence"

Thus, the "Among us theorem"

by WateryBadZach August 10, 2023