Religious Masturbation

Religious Masturbation.

Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.

A religious leader preaching to the saved

Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.

The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved

by Lyreluthier October 15, 2019

quite religious

Quite religious means that you are a little bit religious

Do you go to church on Sundays?? No we are quite religious, we just celebrate the big holidays,

by The3nglishmasta September 14, 2017

Religious Sex

When a man and a woman want to have sex but don't want to sin in the lords eyes. So they rub their penis and vagina together vigorously without penetration.

Him: Hey do you want to have sex?
Her: No, let's have religious sex so God doesn't smite us for having sex before marriage.

by God Lover 69 June 20, 2017

religious inoculation

If religiosity is considered to be infectious, as it spreads uncontrollably through the human population like a virus....then religious inoculation would be controlled exposure to religious influences so as to build immunity to it

Sam's annual visits to his family church is his way of religious inoculation ...

by AxonL November 4, 2017

religious denial

When a person doesn' have sex or masturbate during a certain time of year for religious/ moral purposes

Things like Lent and 10 Days of Repentance, possibly even Ramadan. are supposed to be for religious denial.

by Sexydimma May 6, 2016

fake religious

People who act holy and self righteous when things go their way, but become pieces of shit when you disagree with them or call them out on their b.s.

Ali: "It's better to forgive and worry about yourself. We should all just agree for the sake of peace."
Omer: "I disagree."
Ali: "Wtf is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or retarded? Why can't you see I'm right?"
Omer: "How are you right?"
Ali: "Because I went to Yale, I pray everyday, am successful and everyone likes me."
Omer: "How does that make you right?"
Ali: "Wtf do you know Omer? You work in sales. And have like 50 followers. You barely know 10 surahs. I mean, you don't even have a beard."

Omer: "You just fake religious."

by Seven Eight6 April 9, 2020

religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.

When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")

by QuacksO September 30, 2020